The Lists #32 by Patrick Jehle

Hurricane Safety Tips


1. Stand outside holding a cloth sail.
2. Bag and freeze plenty of swan burgers.
3. Spend all your money before it goes bad in the bank.
4. Consider publishing my work.
5. Think of me and only me.
6. Ask yourself: How is Patrick? What’s he doing, I hope he’s happy…
7. Let rabid stray dogs bite you to help make you strong.
8. Avoid GMO foods.
9. Catch flying bodies and build an army with them.
10. Don’t forget to floss.


Patrick Jehle

Patrick Jehle (Episode 16) is a writer from Brooklyn living in Chicago. Don’t let him in your kitchen.