The Perfect Life #35

28 Monday Feb 2022

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in The Perfect Life

The Perfect Life #35 by Dr. Perfect

Dr. Perfect,

What kind of doctor are you? Mine keeps trying to put me on antipsychotic meds, but I don’t want them. I’m looking for a second opinion. Do you take United Healthcare?

Yours,
Aaron

————

Dear Aaron,

I seldom divulge my professional background, but in your case my PhD in Psychology might come in handy. I also minored in dance, which helps with the ladies.

Women like a man with rhythm, a perfect man, well-spoken and confident. Having a beard apparently helps too, but I reject going through life looking like Jeremiah Johnson. But you didn’t write for dating advice, assuming you’re single or into women or even human. You could be an alien because they’re out there. The Pentagon has confirmed as much, in so many words.

I get letters from people claiming they’re aliens all the time. They always give themselves away with a subtle hint toward the end, like asking for Thai recipes or dog grooming tips. Aliens aren’t interested in any of that stuff. They’ve clearly traveled millions of lightyears to mess with farmers and Air Force pilots here on earth. They just want to linguistically scan my responses to get at my sweet, sweet biorhythms, which they hope to use for their nefarious purposes.

Do you talk to yourself, cut people off in traffic, or finger paint in your own blood? If so, that’s normal behavior nowadays. It’s not like you’re questioning the government or anything.

There are these psychopathy checklists that help professionals narrow down personality traits and make assessments from there. If you were my patient, though, I’d recommend a weekend spa retreat at your own expense. Those kinds of getaways always helped me block out voices.

Feel free to fax me your insurance information at your earliest convenience.

Dr. Perfect has slung advice across the globe for the last two decades due to his dedication to the uplift of the human condition.

Episode 512: Lan Samantha Chang!

26 Saturday Feb 2022

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Craft of Fiction Writing, Episode

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Episode 512 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on Apple podcasts, stitcher, spotify, or click here to stream (right click to download, if that’s your thing).

In this week’s show, I talk to Lan Samantha Chan about writing a novel over a long period of time, learning and teaching at the Iowa Writers Workshop, the value of writing communities, and balancing teaching, administrative work, and writing.

Photo by IfeOluwa Nihinlola.

Plus I chat with my dear friend Christopher Booth, who now lives in France.

TEXTS DISCUSSED

NOTES

TDO listeners can get 20% of a premium subscription to Scribophile. After using the above link to register for a basic account, go here while still logged in to upgrade the account with the discount.

The Kerouac Project of Orlando is open for applications for its residency program.

The Curator of Schlock #391: Edge of the Axe

25 Friday Feb 2022

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Blog Post

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The Curator of Schlock #391 by Jeff Shuster

Edge of the Axe

Scream prototype.

I had infiltrated a marsupial slaughtering factory under the guise of a welder. They had recently installed some factory equipment for their illegal kangaroo canning operation. I was to inspect this equipment and give it the okay.

While the security guard explained this to me, three cages housing kangaroos wheeled past me. Through the bars of the last cage, I saw Edwige, my kangaroo companion, who I’d thought I’d never see again!

— To be continued.

This week’s movie is 1989’s Edge of the Axe from director José Ramón Larraz. This curiosity was a co-production between the United States and Spain. Such cosmopolitanism reminds me of Madhouse, an Italian-made slasher movie I reviewed last year. Like Madhouse, Edge of the Axe was shot in America and featured American actors. And while the movie takes place in California, Edge of the Axe follows the Canadian slasher movie model–it’s a whodunit.

Edge of the Axe begins with a woman sitting in her car as it enters a car wash only to have her window and face smashed in by, you guessed it, an axe. The killer is masked and one wonders if this movie was an influence for Scream.

When the killer where’s a mask, everyone is a suspect.

We’re introduced to Gerald Martin (Barton Faulks), a young man obsessed with computers who needs the latest technology to play those newfangled computer games. He works at a pest control business with his best friend Richard (Page Moseley). The two of them get called over to a bar to investigate an odd smell coming from the basement. First they see rats, but upon further investigation, they discover the corpse of a murdered barmaid.

With two confirmed murders, the town is in a bit of frenzy. That doesn’t stop Gerald from sweet talking Lillian Nebbs (Christina Marie Lane), the daughter of the bar owner, into going out with him. Just like Gerald, she’s into technology and he gives her his old computer so the two of them can communicate through the computer? Imagine that. Being able to communicate through a computer!

Lillian confides in Gerald about a sordid incident involving her cousin, Charlie. When she was little, she pushed her cousin a little too hard on a swing set and sent him flying head first into a brick wall and whatnot. Charlie got sent to a mental hospital to recover. Lillian suspects he may be the killer. Charlie was released from the hospital about two years ago, but Lillian never made contact with him.

There are more murders. I have to admit that Gerald is a little too calm during all of this. Maybe he’s too busy playing Preppie! or Crush, Crumble, and Chomp (look them up). The murderer gets revealed, the axe swings, there’s a case of mistaken identity, etc. I found Edge of the Axe on Prime streaming, though there’s also an Arrow Home Video release of this one. Check it out.

Photo by Leslie Salas

Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, and episode 496) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.

Comics Are Trying to Break Your Heart #163: Something Greener

23 Wednesday Feb 2022

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Comic Books, Comics Are Trying to Break Your Heart, Science Fiction

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Comics Are Trying to Break Your Heart #163 by Drew Barth

Something Greener

In dystopias and utopias, solarpunk is an under-utilized setting. A distinct reaction against some of the grim and gray of disaster fiction, this subgenre focuses on the synthesis of society with greener tech: renewable energy, large swaths of natural land and vegetation, and a communal habitation with nature. Of course, these things don’t come about easily. And in Eve by Victor LaValle, Jo Mi-Gyeong, and Brittany Peer, we see the apocalypse before the spouting of a new world from the roots of the old.

Living in a half-submerged forest with her father, Eve sails, explores, and dives while her father guides her along her way. But when this story really starts, Eve has never been near the water. She has never even seen the sun as her whole life has been suspended in a tube that feeds sensory information to her for over a decade. Meeting her there is Wexler, a robot wearing the teddy bear of her childhood programmed to help her find a vault of seeds that will help clear the atmosphere of a caustic disease and stitch sunken half-sunken continents back together. The world itself is barren, only a few scant groups of children and hoards of the near dead that have been wasting away for decades. Here that Eve finds out that she isn’t the first Eve to make this journey.

Unlike most apocalyptic comics, Eve offers this sense of a way forward and an inkling of hope. The world was broken, but can be fixed. Even if it takes multiple attempts, the worst of the disasters can be reversed and the world can begin again. LaValle, Mi-Geyong, and Peer know that creating another story about the vain attempts of trying to change things doesn’t work anymore. Cynicism and futility are easy. What’s difficult is looking for the best in a world that seems irreparable. But that’s what Eve, her parents, and even Wexley can represent in this story. They can be the good that pushes things into change, even if the teddy bear believes that humanity is beyond redemption due to the state of the world.

Cynicism about the state of the environment is easy. We hear about how little there is an individual can do and resign ourselves to the belief that things can only get worse. But this is the story for after that. Things can get worse. That doesn’t mean they can’t bounce back. That doesn’t mean that through effort and application can we move the environment to a more stable place. It’s why it’s more essential now than ever to not fall into that despair. And that’s what this comic does so well—the despair is always present, but the story knows that things can get better if we’re able to work toward something more grand.

Get excited. Get hopeful.

Drew Barth at Miami Book Fair in 2019.

Drew Barth (Episode 331, 485, & 510) resides in Winter Park, FL. He received his MFA from the University of Central Florida. Right now, he’s worrying about his cat.

Episode 511: David A. Bossert!

19 Saturday Feb 2022

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in animation, Disney, Episode, Film

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Claude Coates, Dali and DIsney: Destino, David A. Bossert, Disneyland, Old Mill Press, Walt Disney

Episode 511 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on Apple podcasts, stitcher, spotify, or click here to stream (right click to download, if that’s your thing).

On today’s show, I talk to Disney artist and historian David A. Bossert about the astounding career of Claude Coats, the flexibility required of Disney artists, and the power of saying yes to new professional challenges.

TEXTS DISCUSSED

NOTES

TDO listeners can get 20% of a premium subscription to Scribophile. After using the above link to register for a basic account, go here while still logged in to upgrade the account with the discount.

The Kerouac Project of Orlando is open for applications for its residency program.

The Curator of Schlock #390: Slumber Party Massacre II

18 Friday Feb 2022

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Film, Horror, The Curator of Schlock

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The Curator of Schlock #390 by Jeff Shuster

Slumber Party Massacre II

It’s a bit better.

There I was, blowtorch in hand and standing behind the gate to a Canadian salmon canning factory that was really a front for a marsupial slaughterhouse. A burly guard stood on the other side and I figured my number was up.

“Are you the welder?” he asked. I nodded my head as he unlocked the gate and bade me inside. We made our way toward the factory and I braced myself for horrors.

— To be continued.

This week’s movie is 1987’s Slumber Party Massacre II from director Deborah Brock. I know I was a bit nonplussed regarding last week’s movie revolving around the escapades of the “driller killer,” an escaped maniac with a penchant for drilling his victims to death. After the events of the first movie, Valerie Bates ended up in a mental hospital after hacking the murderer up with a machete.

Courtney Bates (Crystal Bernard), Valerie’s sister, is trying to move on with her life. She’s a member of an all girl rock n’ roll band. Her mom wants her to visit her sister at the mental hospital, but Courtney complains that it’s her birthday this weekend and that she just wants to hang out with her friends. Her mom apologizes for forgetting her birthday and gives her leave to go. I guess this wouldn’t be a Slumber Party Massacre movie without a proper slumber party.

The girls partake in eating corn dogs, topless pillow fighting, and drinking plenty of hard liquor. Courtney should be enjoying herself, but she is plagued by dreams of a rock’n’roll star (Atanas Ilitch) that drills people to death with his guitar. In other words, a drill pokes out of his guitar so he’ll kill you right after he treats you to some rockabilly.

Courtney’s ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality begins to shatter throughout her stay. When she’s handed a hamburger with lots of ketchup, Courtney sees not a hamburger, but a bloody severed hand in a bun! Yikes! She’s handed a chicken sandwich and all is right again. Later that day, one of her friends who has been complaining about her acne has now turned into a giant pimple. The pimple ruptures and Courtney gets doused in green puss.

Throughout this, Courtney’s dreams about the rockabilly driller killer intensify. Her boyfriend, Matt (Patrick Lowe), brings her a birthday cake and it’s a beautiful romantic gesture until the rockabilly driller killer appears and sends his drill right through Matt’s chest. What follows is a free-for-all as this maniac kills off Courtney’s friends one by one. I have to admit. He does it with serious style. There’s a predictable twist ending, but it fits so let’s not nitpick.

While watching this movie, one thing made me uncomfortable. All the fashion and the hair styles are reflective of trends from the late 80s, early 90s. That’s my preteen years and they seem as dated now as flappers and Zoot suits. Yet, for some reason, I can’t resist the pressure to buy some day-glow fashion.

Photo by Leslie Salas.

Comics Are Trying to Break Your Heart #162: A Shell of Meat and Metal

16 Wednesday Feb 2022

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Comic Books, Comics Are Trying to Break Your Heart

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Comics Are Trying to Break Your Heart #162 by Drew Barth

A Shell of Meat and Metal

Close to a year ago I looked at the first issue of Paul Allor and Paul Tucker’s Hollow Heart and how it worked with isolation and humanity. Since then, the series has concluded its six-issue run and the depths Allor and Tucker go beyond their first issue is heart shattering. As a series, it has branched off from the first inklings of isolation to fully dive into what things like loneliness and the physical bodies we inhabit mean out in the world.

At its center, Hollow Heart revolves around El and Mateo. The former, El, is portions of a man—heart, brain, some other organs and bones—packed into a giant metal suit. The latter, Mateo, is his new mechanic and shows El the first bit of humanity since being reborn in his metal shell. Mateo also creates a plan to get El out of the facility that he has been trying to escape from for years now. But Mateo’s plan is similar to the original plan El was living in—limited freedoms and mobility due to being tethered to his location and being a giant cyborg with an emaciated human skull perched on top. It’s here, though, that El learns two things: more about his own humanity and what deception really means as Mateo has not been entirely truthful about getting El away from his original facility.

Hollow Heart asks us: what is a body? What is autonomy? El was brought back from the brink of death, but for what purpose? Just to suffer? El has what we could call a body, albeit one that is recognizable as an 80s action figure more than anything. But he needs constant repairs and updates and maintenance to the point where any thought of escape would eventually mean his death. But that also seems to be what he wants—to go beyond the tether in the facility he has been attempting to escape from results in a slow, degrading death. Shouldn’t this be his choice, though? At one point, El was a person, but much of that humanity has been stripped away and even Mateo, the one person who continually shows him affection and love, still does not let him make any real choices about himself. El is forced into a present he never wanted with a past that doesn’t seem to exist. If there is a future for him, it seems like it only circles back to the facility and wanting to die.

Allor and Tucker create horror that sinks much deeper into our stomachs than the promise of spooky robots. The sheer existential dread of being trapped how El is and the ways in which his life is pulled away from him piece by piece only reinforces that deep-seated terror. In the end, El is only able to recede into a fantasy, cut off completely from the rest of the world, while his body hangs in the same facility he had always hoped to escape.

Get excited. Get trapped.

Drew Barth at Miami Book Fair in 2019.

Drew Barth (Episode 331, 485, & 510) resides in Winter Park, FL. He received his MFA from the University of Central Florida. Right now, he’s worrying about his cat.

The Rogue’s Guide to Shakespeare on Film #88: The Tragedy of Hamlet (2002)

13 Sunday Feb 2022

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Film, Shakespeare, The Rogue's Guide to Shakespeare on Film

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Jeffrey Kissoon, Peter Brook, The Tragedy of Hamlet 2002

88. Peter Brook’s The Tragedy of Hamlet, 2002.

There are too many Hamlets, and I’ve had my surfeit.

This blog’s at a trickle. There’s too much Shakespeare, and I don’t care anymore. When will someone make a glorious Troilus and Cressida?

Peter Brook—famous for bare-bones staging—is perhaps not the most auspicious director to drag me back into this mess. This made-for-TV film is set on a theatrical stage, but is not filmed before a live audience. The setting of when the story takes place seems amorphous. Despite the European references, the geographical setting is vaguely somewhere between East and West. There are few props. There is no yelling. The theory is to remove as many impediments as possible between actors and each other and audience.

In this case, the audience is separated by a screen.

The quietness of this Hamlet is its strength. The acting pulls one in. Adrian Lester manages to convey the Danish prince with some novelty without becoming irritating. Natasha Perry is an adequate Gertrude.

Jeffrey Kissoon is an ideal Claudius, and for a jaded reviewer like me, perhaps that is enough to excite me. Kissoon made a strong Julius Caesar in the 2012 BBC film, but Claudius is a more difficult part, at least if Claudius is more than a two-faced villain. Kissoon plays Claudius with a toughness that belies how little room there is between guiding the court and kingdom through good leadership and not giving in to his conscience. I am not sure I’ve even seen a smarter Claudius.

The Tragedy of Hamlet 5

Oh, yes, Kissoon also plays the ghost of King Hamlet as well, with an imperious urgency and toughness as well.

The Tragedy of Hamlet 3

The casting of this adaptation is not color-blind, but is multiracial and international in interesting ways. Polonius, Ophelia, and Laertes—plus Rosencrantz and Guildenstern—are Indian. Gertrude is very white and British.

The Tragedy of Hamlet 4

Hamlet and his father and uncle are black. The players are Asian. The lead player (Yoshi Oida) delivers his Priam’s daughter oration in Japanese. I am not sure that this production has anything to say about the meeting of these cultures. These choices increase racial representation and defamiliarize a too familiar play, which are not bad reasons, I think.

The Tragedy of Hamlet 2

The cuts to the text are aggressive. This quiet Hamlet chugs along.

Perhaps I need to continue digging into Brook.

John King (Episode, well, all of them) holds a PhD in English from Purdue University, and an MFA from New York University. He has reviewed performances for Shakespeare Bulletin.

Episode 510: Drew Barth Redux

12 Saturday Feb 2022

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Comic Books, Episode

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Tags

Beta Ray Bill, Drew Barth, Thor, Walt Simonson

Episode 510 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on Apple podcasts, stitcher, spotify, or click here to stream (right click to download, if that’s your thing).

On today’s show, I talk to TDO’s comic book blogger Drew Barth to discuss Walt Simonson’s astounding mythical, iconoclastic run on Thor back in the 1980s.

Drew Barth at Miami Book Fair in 2019.

TEXTS DISCUSSED

Samples from this great run…

NOTES

TDO listeners can get 20% of a premium subscription to Scribophile. After using the above link to register for a basic account, go here while still logged in to upgrade the account with the discount.

The Kerouac Project of Orlando is open for applications for its residency program.

The Curator of Schlock #389: Slumber Party Massacre

11 Friday Feb 2022

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Film, Horror, The Curator of Schlock

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The Curator of Schlock #389 by Jeff Shuster

Slumber Party Massacre

Was Herschel Gordon Lewis involved in this?

I was under orders from the Canadian government to infiltrate an illegal marsupial slaughtering operation. I encountered an obstacle in the form of a chain link fence with a locked gate. I took out my blowtorch and set the white hot flame to the padlock in hopes of melting it away, but it was taking forever.

I was so transfixed waiting for the lock to turn into molten goo that I didn’t notice the security guard standing on the other side of the fence. — To be continued.

This week’s movie is 1982’s Slumber Party Massacre from director Amy Holden Jones. It’s a slasher movie I’ve somehow missed all of these years. Maybe I confused it with The House on Sorority Row. That was the movie where one of the co-eds found a severed head in the toilet. Good times!

Slumber Party Massacre begins with a late breaking report about an escaped maniac named Russ Thorn (Michael Villella) who uses a power drill to slay his victims. One wonders how these mass murderers always manage to escape and how quiet suburban communities never seem to take these maniac situations very seriously. For instance, Russ manages to stop by the local high school and murder a teacher and a student with no one ever noticing he’s there.

Slumber Party Massacre indeed has a slumber party. Trish Deveraux (Michelle Michaels), a high school senior, invites a bunch of her friends over for a night of food, frolicking, weed, and booze. Yup. They’re going to get high and liquored up because that’s what you do when your parents are out of town. Trish also invites the new girl, Valerie (Robin Stille), to the party, but she declines as Trish’s friends hate Valerie because she’s too pretty.

Trish’s parents left a neighbor in charge of keeping an eye on Trish and her friends, but he’s too busy trying to kill night snails. Russ drills him to death, as Russ is want to do. Meanwhile, Valerie babysits her bratty younger sister, Courtney. They’re reading magazines, which is what people did before the Internet. Courtney even sneaks a copy of her sister’s Playgirl magazine. I’m sure she reads it for the articles.

There are a couple of horn-dogs named Jeff and Neil who stop by the slumber party to ogle the girls. Trish lets them inside in a ploy to get them to pay for the pizza. The pizza guy shows up, Jeff and Neil gather up the cash, open the door, and the pizza guy falls over due to his eyes being drilled out through the back of his head. Panic ensues as this slumber party realizes a psychopath is on the prowl.

The girls get Jeff and Neil to leave and get help. Why didn’t they call for help? Because Russ cut the phone lines. It doesn’t take Jeff and Neil long to get butchered despite them heading in different directions. And then Russ goes to town on the young women. Don’t worry. There will be a final girl that hacks Russ up. I liked last week’s movie better. It had inbred hillbillies as the murderers. You can’t just give some random guy a power drill and expect him to be the next Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees. Fail.