The Curator of Schlock #111 bu Jeff Shuster

Legends of the Fall part 2

No, they didn’t make a sequel to that stupid Brad Pitt movie!

Okay, here is part two of my continuing series on fall movies, and by continuing I mean that it’s ending this week. Sometimes your curator has to leave the museum and see what’s going on the world. That means I sat in a theater and watched four more movies.

The Peanuts Movie

Yeah, I saw a kid’s movie, but it’s Charlie Brown and nostalgia tugged at me. I used to watch Charlie Brown movies when I was a kid. I remember one where they went camping and rafting and then Cropsy murders them all in their raft. Oh wait! That was The Burning. Anyway, The Peanuts Movie features all of the classic characters you know and love except now they’re CG. It doesn’t look bad at all, but I can’t help but feel they went to huge expense to recreate the comic strip style with computer graphics just so could show the movie 3D.

Bridge of Spies

This is one of those newer Spielberg movies, which doesn’t have any extra terrestrials in it, but this one actually isn’t too bad. Tom Hanks plays this lawyer that has to defend a Russian spy (Boooooooooooooo!!!) during the Cold War! Something about everyone in the United States deserving a fair trial. The judge throws the book at him anyway because he’s a Russian spy and a Soviet COMMUNIST! Plus, this spy has the nerve to sport a Scottish accent! How dare he? The Scottish aren’t communist…I think. Hanks convinces the judge not to kill him because they may need to trade him for an American spy one day and wouldn’t you know it, that day comes. Guess who has to make the trade? Tom Hanks! By the way, Tom Hanks plays James B. Donovan who was a real person so I guess I just could read about this in a history book instead of plunking down a ten spot for this movie.

The Martian

No extra terrestrials in this one either. And it’s called The Martian! Matt Damon plays some astronaut that gets left for dead on Mars by the rest of his crew. He spends the rest of the movie listening to disco music and growing potatoes in garden he made from human feces. He runs out of ketchup at some point. Jeff Daniels plays the President.

 Steve Jobs

Michael Fassbender plays Steve Jobs in the movie Steve Jobs. This film mainly consistsof protracted dialogue scenes where Steve Jobs consistently disagrees with everyone he talks to. Jeff Daniels stars in this one, too, as the CEO of Apple. I keep getting Jeff Daniels confused with Bill Pullman. Bill Pullman was in David Lynch’s Lost Highway. David Lynch also directed Mulholland Drive which I recently purchased during a Barnes & Noble’s Criterion sale. The DVD has no chapter stops. It’s like David Lynch wants me to watch the whole movie instead of just skipping to my favorite parts. How dare he!

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Jeffrey Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, and episode 131) is an MFA candidate at the University of Central Florida.