The Curator of Schlock
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The Curator of Schlock #378: Time Bandits
The things we watch as kids. Oliver! often made the rounds in my parents’ VCR. It taught me many things such as not asking for more gruel from a portly man wearing a Napoleon hat. He will sing a song about how awful you are in front of the other orphans. Then he’ll take you out in… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #367: Labyrinth
I have to confess something. I don’t have rose colored glasses when it comes to the 1980s. It was the age of Care Bears, Rainbow Brite, and Herself the Elf. Also, don’t get me started on Cabbage Patch Kids. I found them disgusting then. I find them disgusting now. I didn’t like cute things. I liked monsters. Fortunately, tonight’s… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #366: The Dark Crystal
Does anyone remember that time Kenny Rogers guest starred on The Muppet Show? He performed “The Gambler” in front of a live audience. Instead of Kermit or Gonzo or Fozzie Bear, he shares the train compartment with three muppets designed to look like old men. There are times during his performance, Kenny Rogers is fighting not… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #365: The NeverEnding Story
As many of you know, I had lost my Beanie Baby collection due to that fracas at the Museum of Schlock. But that’s okay. I have a new obsession. Labubu! I just love those little rascals. I have Tycoco, Lychee Berry, Green Grape, Puca, Zizi, and Zymomo. I built a custom oak shelf above my… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #364: War Machine
It had been almost five years since I’d left the Museum of Schlock, but with the generosity of the contributors to my GoFundMe campaign for a kangaroo habitat, the Museum of Schlock will be open for business in a couple of weeks. Sure I had other stories to tell like our run in with Edwige’s evil… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #363: The Initiation of Sarah
The Revenging Manta, the ninja vigilante of downtown Orlando, and I parted ways. With the Goose Lord and his gang finished once and for all, he had other obligations that needed to be fulfilled. Among them was finding the guy that stole the truck of his good friend, Big Tom, and lost his cargo. The… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #362: Someone’s Watching Me!
As Edwige, the Revenging Manta, Albert Simmons, and I drove away from the bloody scene at the marina. It seems that Albert was the hero of the day after all. Albert had only pretended to betray us so he could go sabotage the mass driver. The Revenging Manta was in on it, his taking a… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #361: The Brady Bunch Movie
The Goose Lord laid dead at the feet of Edwige, my kangaroo companion from my misadventures in North America. “Edwige,” I said as she hopped over to me, unscathed from being tied to rail gun. I patted her on the back for a job well done. As we got our bearings, the banana van pulled… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #360: The Limey
The Goose Lord emerged from the darkness, his skin having the consistency of chewed up bubblegum. He carried a spear gun in his right hand that he probably lifted from one of the yachts in the arena, a gun that was pointed directly at me. “I didn’t do anything,” I screamed, raising my arms in… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #359: Hypnotic
I walked through the aftermath of the fentanyl cloud, searching for Edwige, my kangaroo companion from my misadventures in North America. I feared for the worst as I came upon the bodies of the Goose Lord Gang, littered across the marina. A figure slumped toward me. It was the Goose Lord. Whatever was left of… Continue reading
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