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The Drunken Odyssey

~ A Podcast About the Writing Life

The Drunken Odyssey

Category Archives: Horror

The Curator of Schlock #374: Leprechaun 4: In Space

25 Friday Mar 2022

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Film, Horror, The Curator of Schlock

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Leprechaun 4: In Space

That is not how you title a movie!

Bad things were going down in a marsupial slaughtering factory in the Canadian Province of Saskatchewan. A bloodied factory worker had screamed about “devils on the loose” before breathing his last. Then came the howls from a shifting black mass of doom creeping in my direction. Dozens if not hundreds of rabid Tasmanian devils were headed toward me.

— To be continued.


This week’s movie is 1997’s Leprechaun 4: In Space from director Brian Trenchard-Smith. This is the one we’ve been waiting for, folks. I can’t think of any movie series that couldn’t be improved by sending it into outer space. This marks the last movie of the 90s era Leprechaun movies and the final movie in The Leprechaun Cycle. I remember catching this movie during its original IMAX run. Wow. You could count every whisker on Warwick Davis’s face!

Leprechaun 4: In Space begins with the Leprechaun (Warwick Davis) trying to coax the lovely Princess Zarina (Rebekah Carlton) into marriage. This isn’t taking place on Earth and Princess Zarina is not an Earthling. The year is 2096 and the Leprechaun is now living on a planet of gold. He wants to marry the princess and murder her father so he can become king of her homeward. Zarina’s on board when he promises to make her rich.

On a starship, we have a group of space marines on a mission to kill the Leprechaun. If you cynically think this movie is going to be like Aliens, but with the Leprechaun instead of the Xenomorph, you would be right. The Leprechaun manages to fall on a grenade and explode. A marine named Private Kowalski pees on his corpse, which allows the Leprechaun’s evil spirit to swim up the urine stream into the marine’s twig and berries.

Meanwhile, there’s a deformed cyborg named Dr. Mittenhand (Guy Siner) that wants to use the DNA from the princess to grow himself a new body, Princess Zarina has blue blood with regenerative properties. Mixed with Dr. Mittenhand’s DNA, this will give him a new lease on life. He is the real villain of the movie, a mad scientist complete with German accent.

Meanwhile, Kowalski is getting hot and heavy with his girlfriend. The Leprechaun manages to crawl out of Kowalski the same way he went in, revoking Kowalski’s membership in the process. With the Leprechaun on the loose, it’s open season on space marines. There’s one scene where two marines enter a room where a special bacteria devours every living thing it comes into contact with. Naturally, the Leprechaun tears a hole in one of the marine’s hazmat suits, leaving him to get eaten alive until there’s nothing left but bones.

What else? The Leprechaun and Princess Zarina manage to mess with the DNA cocktail meant to restore Dr. Mittenhand. They combine it with some tarantula and scorpion DNA, turning Dr. Mittenhand into a freakish monster. Also, the Leprechaun gets hit with a growth ray that turns him into a giant. What will the marines do? This is the last movie in my Leprechaun box set. Do I spring for more? Let me sit on that one for a while.


Photo by Leslie Salas.

Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, and episode 496) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.

The Curator of Schlock #392: Malignant

04 Friday Mar 2022

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Horror, The Curator of Schlock

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The Curator of Schlock #392 by Jeff Shuster

Malignant

8th Wonder of the World

There was Edwige, my kangaroo traveling companion of the past year, locked up in a cage, waiting to be butchered by a bunch of zany Saskatchewanians. I wanted to free her, but I had to keep up the ruse of being a factory inspector in front of the guard who let me in the building. Just then, an alarm sounded and before I knew it, dozens of factory workers rushed past me. The guard scrambled for his walkie talkie, but it slipped from his fingers as his face grew pale in reaction to what was coming in our direction — To be continued.


This week’s movie is 2021’s Malignant from director James Wan. I think this might be my favorite movie of 2021. In fact, I’m not even sure how Warner Bros. okayed this project. It may have something to do with James Wan directing such hits for the studio like The Conjuring and Aguaman. They gave him carte blanche to do what he wanted with this movie. I see it as a modern take on the William Castle movies that were so popular in the 1950s.

The movie begins back in 1993 at a psychiatric research hospital built on an oceanside cliff. A patient named Gabriel has attacked several of the staff and seems to possess psionic power over electricity. A Dr. Florence Weaver (Jacqueline McKenzie) declares that it’s “Time to cut out the cancer.” We get a credit sequence featuring some gnarly surgery sequences and before we know it, it’s the modern day.

We’re introduced to Madison Lake (Annabelle Wallis), a young nurse on her third pregnancy after two previous miscarriages. She has an abusive husband that complains about watching his babies die inside of her. He knocks Madison’s head against the bedroom wall and then apologizes. He leaves to get some ice. Madison locks the door behind him before conking out on the bed. Later that night, her husband is brutally murdered by a mysterious figure cloaked in black. Madison goes to investigate and is attacked by the killer. She survives, but suffers another miscarriage.

Detectives Kekoa Shaw (George Young) and Regina Moss (Michole Briana White) are called to the grisly murder scene, but have no leads as to who committed the crime. That’s okay because more murders are coming. It seems that the mysterious killer has a beef with the staff of the psychiatric facility we saw at the start of the movie. He finds Dr. Florence Weaver and beats her to death with a trophy she won for medical excellence. The killer then sharpens what’s left of the trophy into a deadly dagger to take out his next victim.

Madison has a psychic link with the killer. It’s a rather cool effect. Madison will be all alone in her house and her surroundings will completely peel away. She sees everything the killer sees, every horrific detail. Eventually, the killer reaches out to Madison, revealing himself to be Gabriel. Madison recalls once having an imaginary friend named Gabriel.

To say anything more about Malignant would spoil the big reveal, but I do highly recommend this movie for horror fans. Malignant is currently available to stream on HBO Max.


Photo by Leslie Salas.

Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, and episode 496) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.

The Curator of Schlock #390: Slumber Party Massacre II

18 Friday Feb 2022

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The Curator of Schlock #390 by Jeff Shuster

Slumber Party Massacre II

It’s a bit better. 

There I was, blowtorch in hand and standing behind the gate to a Canadian salmon canning factory that was really a front for a marsupial slaughterhouse. A burly guard stood on the other side and I figured my number was up.

“Are you the welder?” he asked. I nodded my head as he unlocked the gate and bade me inside. We made our way toward the factory and I braced myself for horrors.

— To be continued.


This week’s movie is 1987’s Slumber Party Massacre II from director Deborah Brock. I know I was a bit nonplussed regarding last week’s movie revolving around the escapades of the “driller killer,” an escaped maniac with a penchant for drilling his victims to death. After the events of the first movie, Valerie Bates ended up in a mental hospital after hacking the murderer up with a machete.

Courtney Bates (Crystal Bernard), Valerie’s sister, is trying to move on with her life. She’s a member of an all girl rock n’ roll band. Her mom wants her to visit her sister at the mental hospital, but Courtney complains that it’s her birthday this weekend and that she just wants to hang out with her friends. Her mom apologizes for forgetting her birthday and gives her leave to go. I guess this wouldn’t be a Slumber Party Massacre movie without a proper slumber party.

The girls partake in eating corn dogs, topless pillow fighting, and drinking plenty of hard liquor. Courtney should be enjoying herself, but she is plagued by dreams of a rock’n’roll star (Atanas Ilitch) that drills people to death with his guitar. In other words, a drill pokes out of his guitar so he’ll kill you right after he treats you to some rockabilly.

Courtney’s ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality begins to shatter throughout her stay. When she’s handed a hamburger with lots of ketchup, Courtney sees not a hamburger, but a bloody severed hand in a bun! Yikes! She’s handed a chicken sandwich and all is right again. Later that day, one of her friends who has been complaining about her acne has now turned into a giant pimple. The pimple ruptures and Courtney gets doused in green puss.

Throughout this, Courtney’s dreams about the rockabilly driller killer intensify. Her boyfriend, Matt (Patrick Lowe), brings her a birthday cake and it’s a beautiful romantic gesture until the rockabilly driller killer appears and sends his drill right through Matt’s chest. What follows is a free-for-all as this maniac kills off Courtney’s friends one by one. I have to admit. He does it with serious style. There’s a predictable twist ending, but it fits so let’s not nitpick.

While watching this movie, one thing made me uncomfortable. All the fashion and the hair styles are reflective of trends from the late 80s, early 90s. That’s my preteen years and they seem as dated now as flappers and Zoot suits. Yet, for some reason, I can’t resist the pressure to buy some day-glow fashion.


Photo by Leslie Salas.

Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, and episode 496) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.

The Curator of Schlock #389: Slumber Party Massacre

11 Friday Feb 2022

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Film, Horror, The Curator of Schlock

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The Curator of Schlock #389 by Jeff Shuster

Slumber Party Massacre

Was Herschel Gordon Lewis involved in this?

I was under orders from the Canadian government to infiltrate an illegal marsupial slaughtering operation. I encountered an obstacle in the form of a chain link fence with a locked gate. I took out my blowtorch and set the white hot flame to the padlock in hopes of melting it away, but it was taking forever.

I was so transfixed waiting for the lock to turn into molten goo that I didn’t notice the security guard standing on the other side of the fence. — To be continued.


This week’s movie is 1982’s Slumber Party Massacre from director Amy Holden Jones. It’s a slasher movie I’ve somehow missed all of these years. Maybe I confused it with The House on Sorority Row. That was the movie where one of the co-eds found a severed head in the toilet. Good times!

Slumber Party Massacre begins with a late breaking report about an escaped maniac named Russ Thorn (Michael Villella) who uses a power drill to slay his victims. One wonders how these mass murderers always manage to escape and how quiet suburban communities never seem to take these maniac situations very seriously. For instance, Russ manages to stop by the local high school and murder a teacher and a student with no one ever noticing he’s there.

Slumber Party Massacre indeed has a slumber party. Trish Deveraux (Michelle Michaels), a high school senior, invites a bunch of her friends over for a night of food, frolicking, weed, and booze. Yup. They’re going to get high and liquored up because that’s what you do when your parents are out of town. Trish also invites the new girl, Valerie (Robin Stille), to the party, but she declines as Trish’s friends hate Valerie because she’s too pretty.

Trish’s parents left a neighbor in charge of keeping an eye on Trish and her friends, but he’s too busy trying to kill night snails. Russ drills him to death, as Russ is want to do. Meanwhile, Valerie babysits her bratty younger sister, Courtney. They’re reading magazines, which is what people did before the Internet. Courtney even sneaks a copy of her sister’s Playgirl magazine. I’m sure she reads it for the articles.

There are a couple of horn-dogs named Jeff and Neil who stop by the slumber party to ogle the girls. Trish lets them inside in a ploy to get them to pay for the pizza. The pizza guy shows up, Jeff and Neil gather up the cash, open the door, and the pizza guy falls over due to his eyes being drilled out through the back of his head. Panic ensues as this slumber party realizes a psychopath is on the prowl.

The girls get Jeff and Neil to leave and get help. Why didn’t they call for help? Because Russ cut the phone lines. It doesn’t take Jeff and Neil long to get butchered despite them heading in different directions. And then Russ goes to town on the young women. Don’t worry. There will be a final girl that hacks Russ up. I liked last week’s movie better. It had inbred hillbillies as the murderers. You can’t just give some random guy a power drill and expect him to be the next Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees. Fail.


Photo by Leslie Salas.

Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, and episode 496) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.

The Curator of Schlock #388: Just Before Dawn

04 Friday Feb 2022

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Film, Horror, The Curator of Schlock

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The Curator of Schlock #388 by Jeff Shuster

Just Before Dawn

Stay away from psychotic hillbillies.

I was working with a Canadian secret agent named Larry. Together, we planned to infiltrate a factory where they slaughtered and canned kangaroos and other marsupials. Larry charged me with freeing the animals while he distracted the guards. He gave me a box cutter and a blowtorch. I was to sneak through the back while he created a diversion.

He showed me some factory blueprints and I pretended to understand, but honestly, who really knows how to read those things?


This week’s movie is 1981’s Just Before Dawn from director Jeff Lieberman. It’s a slasher movie and I’ve been known to cover slasher movies every now and then on this blog. I keep thinking I’m going to run out of these films, but there seems to be an endless supply of them. I guess the bulk were made between 1979 and 1982, probably trying to capitalize on the success of John Carpenter’s Halloween.

Our movie begins with two tipsy hunters named Ty (Mike Kellin) and Vachel (Charles Bartlett) goofing around in an abandoned church somewhere in the Oregon wilderness. Ty is getting liquored up something fierce when he sees a creepy hillbilly staring down at him through a hole in the roof. When he calls Vachel over, the crazed hillbilly has disappeared. Must have been the alcohol. I’m a little fuzzy on what happens next, but I believe Vachel gets disemboweled and Ty runs for his life.

Next we get a bunch of rowdy college students riding along in their RV blasting Blondie’s “Heart of Glass.” Driving the vehicle is Warren (Gregg Henry) who apparently inherited a lot of land up in the wilds of Oregon. The guy even owns a mountain. I wish I owned a mountain. Anyway, these crazy kids are ready for a weekend of camping, skinny dipping, and drunken frivolity. A forest ranger played by George Kennedy warns them not to go up in those hills, but those “damn, fool kids never learn.” Did you know George Kennedy starred in a made-for-tv movie where he tussled with a rabid skunk?

Good times!

Warren and his friends run into a drunken Ty who warns them about a demon up in those hills. Ty begs the kids to take him away from there, but they refuse, toss him a couple of sandwiches, and drive off. As they pull away, the maniacal hillbilly donning Vachel’s hunting vest, hops on the back of the van. Ty laughs at their impending doom.

Warren has a girlfriend named Constance (Deborah Benson), the nice and normal one who will probably end up being the “final girl” when all is said and done. There are brothers Jonathan (Chris Lemmon) and Daniel (Ralph Seymour), one of whom is a jokester. Jonathan’s girlfriend is along for the ride too, a redhead with an obsession with makeup and nail polish.

Just Before Dawn is a slow burn. Not one of the college students get murdered the first night. You can’t say they don’t get plenty of warning. Warren learns that he’s a landlord as there are people living up in the mountains and inbreeding may have been taking place over the years. Constance gets a moment at the end of the movie where she confronts the killer and it’s something to behold.

It reminds me of how I was told once to kill a lion if I ever ran into one.


Photo by Leslie Salas.

Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, and episode 496) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.

Comics Are Trying to Break Your Heart #153: A Long and Spooky Road

15 Wednesday Dec 2021

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Comic Books, Horror

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Comics Are Trying to Break Your Heart #153 by Drew Barth

A Long and Spooky Road

Highways grow legends. The roads are long enough and old enough that someone had inevitably died. How many of those hauntings have some degree of truth to them? How many roadsides have seen blood and the sprouting of ghouls in its place? Proctor Valley Road by Grant Morrison, Alex Child, Naomi Franquiz, Tamra Bonvillain, and Jim Campbell morph those legends into something eerily tangible.

I touched on the first issue of the series some months ago. The story has since completed its run. From the initial issue of four friends, August, Rylee, Cora, and Jennie, organizing a Spook Tour of the titular Proctor Valley Road to raise money for tickets to see Janis Joplin, the horror deepens as the series progresses. The road beasts are still present, still trying to kill anyone close to the road, but now there is a preternatural leader in The Landlady, who enjoys cursing anyone who tries to use the land she died on for monetary gain. All four girls suffer as a result of The Landlady’s influence.

Typical of Morrison’s shorter comic runs, Proctor Valley Road feels full of momentum and essential power. This five issue series could have easily been spread out to double that, but there is no wasted effort in the storytelling. August, Cora, Rylee, and Connie each get their moments to let their characters shine as they push through the breakneck pace of this dangerous plot, but the constant movement centers the plot of every issue.

Proctor Valley Road connects to an essential part of 1960s Americana that few modern comics have attempted. Morrison, Child, Franquiz, Bonvillain, and Campbell have curated weird ephemera of the past—a carnival among school friends, a concert, a ghost on the side of the highway. At no point do we ever feel like we’re outside of the past. We’re contained in the moment of a ghostly legend so completely and feel the haunt running through the pages.

Get excited. Get spooky.


Drew Barth at Miami Book Fair in 2019.

Drew Barth (Episode 331 & 485) is a writer residing in Winter Park, FL. He received his MFA from the University of Central Florida. Right now, he’s worrying about his cat.

The Curator of Schlock #379: A Taste of Blood

26 Friday Nov 2021

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Horror, The Curator of Schlock

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The Curator of Schlock #379 by Jeff Shuster

A Taste of Blood

Stick with Uncle Herschel’s Favorite instead.

So my new BFF Larry and I were trying to break out of a prison in the Canadian province of Saskatchewan. The two of us were hugging the outside wall, planning to scale it using a rope made up of used pairs of prison underwear. And I’m talking about used Fruit OF The Looms with questionable stains! Larry tied it to some iron bars outside a prison window. “You first?” Larry asked.


Happy Thanksgiving! It’s normally around this time of year I share a cannibalism movie with all of you, but it would seem my humble collection of Arrow Blu-rays does not contain such fare. However, I do have another Herschell Gordon Lewis classic in the form of 1967’s A Taste for Blood to share with you. I guess it’s blood consumption rather than flesh consumption, but that’s close enough.

By the way, the sub-head up at the top is in reference to a breakfast entree at Cracker Barrel restaurants. You get two eggs any way you want, grits, a choice of breakfast meat (usually in the form of ham, chicken tenderloin, hamburger steak, or catfish), and fried apples or hash brown casserole. Why am I wasting time talking about a breakfast entree? Well, my time was wasted watching another Herschell Gordon Lewis movie so there.

The Arrow Blu-ray gives you the option of watching this Blu-ray with an introduction from the director himself. He says that most budget horror movies of the period had to be at a minimum of 80 minutes run time and that most directors stopped there, but not him. A Taste for Blood clocks in at nearly two hours. You know what was 80 minutes? Terror in a Texas Town. I liked that movie!

What’s the plot? A man named John Stone (Bill Rogers) gets a letter of inheritance in the mail along with two bottles of brandy. The gist of it is his Romanian ancestor owned a lot of property in London and John must drink a toast to his ancestor with the brandy provided to inherit. And then John gradually exhibits some strange behavior like shying away from crosses and sucking the blood out of go-go dancers. And it turns out his ancestor is the one and only Count Dracula.

John sets about murdering the descendants of those who defeated Dracula back in the day. He murders a wealthy oil heiress who is a descendant of Quincy Morris. All of his victims have to die in the same way Dracula did, with a wooden stake through the heart. This attracts the attention of Dr. Howard Helsing (Otto Schlessinger), descendant of Abraham Van Helsing. And of course, no one believes him when he suggests that John Stone is a vampire and blah, blah, blah.

I’m sorry, but mid-1960s Miami, FL ain’t that scary. This is not the setting you use for your gothic horror movie. Also, I need to complain about the score or rather the three tracks the director licensed from the BBC Radiophonic Workshop that he insists on having played over and over again in every single scene! Still, those of you looking to get into Herschell Gordon Lewis, but are wary of the splatter in his films, there isn’t so much splatter in this movie. Happy Thanksgiving! I think I’ll watch Ronin again.


Photo by Leslie Salas

Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, and episode 496) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.

The Curator of Schlock #376: House II: The Second Story

05 Friday Nov 2021

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The Curator of Schlock #376 by Jeff Shuster

House II: The Second Story

Sequel in name only.

There I was, stuck in a prison cell in the town of Mooseville in the Canadian province of Saskatchewan. I figured some sort of trial awaited me for the crime of being a tad late with some factory equipment for the town’s canning factory. I had almost given into despair when one of the larger bricks in the wall started to shift and slide out. It hit the floor with a loud thud and out poked the head of a man that bore a striking resemblance to Don Knotts. “This isn’t the way out,” he said. — To be continued.

Tonight’s Arrow Home Video release is 1987’s House II: The Second Story. This movie has absolutely nothing to do with the original. You do get a John Ratzenberger cameo in this movie just as you got a George Wendt cameo in the first movie. I suppose that’s a Cheers connection. And if you’re asking me what Cheers is, it was a very popular sitcom back in the 1980s and perhaps you should get off the TikTok and learn something for a change.

House II: The Second Story is an odd duck of a movie. You’ve got mummified cowboys, cavemen, Aztec warriors. a pterodactyl baby, a dinosaur dog, a crystal skull, and Bill Maher. I don’t know if the screenwriter was high on goofballs or Checkers milkshakes, but you’re in for a wild ride if you partake in this cinematic catastrophe.

The movie is about a young yuppie named Jesse McLaughlin (Arye Gross) who moves into his old family estate with his girlfriend Kate (Lar Park Lincoln). Jesse’s wild and crazy friend, Charlie (Jonathan Stark), shows up shortly after with his girlfriend, Lana (Amy Yasbeck). You see, Lana is a singer hoping for her big break and Kate just happens to work for a record producer played by none other than Bill Maher. I can’t say any of this music related crap has any great bearing on the plot, but whatever. You get to see Bill Maher in an early acting role.

So Jesse starts researching his family history, discovering the story of his great, great grandfather (also named Jesse McLaughlin) and his arch enemy, Slim Reeser. Seems the two of them found an ancient crystal skull back in the old west, a crystal skull that could give whoever possessed it eternal life. Jesse and Charlie figure the skull must be worth a fortune.

The two of them go ahead and dig up his great, great grandfather’s grave. Jesse finds the crystal skull, clutched in the hands of the corpse, Jesse reaches for it, but is surprised when the corpse springs to life and starts choking him. It’s all a bit of a misunderstanding because after the corpse realizes Jesse is his descendent, out come the beers and stories about the pioneering days of the old west.

Unfortunately, the crystal skull has the ability to open up portals to other times and dimensions. The crystal skull gets passed from a cave man to a pterodactyl to aztec priests. This movie is a bit far out there and may serve as evidence as to why one doesn’t write screenplays under the influence of wacky tobaccy. Still, I wasn’t bored once.


Photo by Leslie Salas

Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, and episode 496) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.

Episode 496: TDO vs. The Curator of Schlock #9

30 Saturday Oct 2021

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Episode, Film, Horror, The Curator of Schlock

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Tags

Beavis and Butthead, Blade Runner, Eihi Shiina, Escape from New York, Ichi the Killer, John Carpenter's The Thing, Oscar Wilde, Robocop, Russ Meyer, Scanners, Shakespearean Comedy, Streets of Fire, The Trials of Oscar Wilde, Tokyo Gore Police, Yoshihiro Nishimura

Episode 496 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on Apple podcasts, stitcher, spotify, or click here to stream (right click to download, if that’s your thing).

Photo by Leslie Salas.

On this week’s show, Jeff Shuster and I discuss the sensitive contribution to cinema that is Tokyo Gore Police.

TEXTS DISCUSSED

NOTES

ScribophileTDO listeners can get 20% of a premium subscription to Scribophile. After using the above link to register for a basic account, go here while still logged in to upgrade the account with the discount.

Check out my literary adventure novel, Guy Psycho and the Ziggurat of Shame.


Episode 496 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on Apple podcasts, stitcher, spotify, or click here to stream (right click to download, if that’s your thing).

The Curator of Schlock #375: House

29 Friday Oct 2021

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Horror, The Curator of Schlock

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The Curator of Schlock #375 by Jeff Shuster

House

William Katt for the win!

As I was saying, Edwige and I were being held captive by an angry mob in a small village in the province of Saskatchewan. I blacked out after having been zapped by a cattle prod. I woke up in a solitary cell. A tray of chicken Kiev slipped through the slot at the bottom of the door. I asked for some Taster’s Choice coffee, but got no answer.

Then I wept.

I hope Edwige is okay.

This week’s Arrow home video release is 1986’s House from director Steve Miner. He also directed Friday the 13th Part 2 and Friday the 13th Part III, but don’t worry, this is not one of those despicable slasher movies. I wouldn’t be caught dead reviewing one of those.

I run a clean blog here.

House is one part haunted house movie and one part Vietnam War movie.

The movie is about a famous horror writer named Roger Cobb (William Katt). He’s basically a Stephen King type of writer with legions of fans who follow him around to book signings. Much to his agent’s and readers’ chagrin, Cobb has decided to write a memoir about his experiences in the Vietnam War. His agent warns Roger that he’d better have a draft written by the end of the month if he wants to keep his advance.

Roger seeks solitude in the suburban home of his deceased Aunt Elizabeth (Susan French). Her body was found dangling from a noose in her second floor bedroom. Roger has a bad history with this house. His own son went missing on the property awhile back and was never found. Roger and his wife divorced due to the strain.

Roger is keen to get working on his memoir when his next door neighbor, Harold (George Wendt), starts bugging him to have a beer. Roger insists that he needs solitude.

We get to see glimpses of Roger’s memoir through his Vietnam flashbacks. One of his comrades was Big Ben (Richard Mall), a blowhard Roger couldn’t stand. However, when Big Ben got shot up by the Viet Cong, Roger couldn’t bring himself to finish him off. Roger vowed to get Big Ben medical attention, but Roger hadn’t gone far before the Viet Cong had discovered Big Ben, dragging him off to be tortured.

Did I mention there are creepy ghosts in this movie? There’s the thing that lives in the closet of his aunt’s bedroom. There’s the ghost that looks like a bloated, demented version of his ex-wife. Tools from the lawn shed float in mid air and try to slice and dice Roger. He babbles on about all this to Harold who thinks he’s crackers.

Roger buys a ton of video and camera equipment hoping to record one of these specters, but there’s much more at play here. Seems the house is keeping his son captive in some sort of dark dimension related to Roger’s Vietnam experience. That’s all I can say on the subject. Check this one out, readers.


Photo by Leslie Salas

Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, & episode 495) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.

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