Sublime eclectic mayhem. That’s been my playlist project and musical life, one that begins with The Muppet Movie soundtrack and later involves performing hymns, death metal, surf, and bluegrass. I’ve played in theaters, tents, and basements, for multi-stage festivals and squirrel rodeos. I’ve written and recorded music for The Drunken Odyssey. Sublime eclectic mayhem. A warning and a welcome for joyous noise, for those navigating what Beckett called “this bitch of an earth.”

What Was So Fugitive

The bunk beds are easier
to take apart than they were
to put together.

Each screw gives
with a small crack.

I brace one knee against the frame
and turn until the slats loosen
from the weight they carried.

Under the mattresses
we find turtles and bears,
the first uncertain letters
of the girls’ names.

The youngest stuck pens
to the slats above her bed
with chewing gum.

They remained there through
bedtime stories, sick days,
games of hide-and-seek,
good nights, sweet dreams,
nightmares—

all bound into furniture
we could barely afford
and then could not imagine
living without until now.

I stack each board
in the hallway, edges 
biting into my palms.
Dust stripes my shirt.
My back tightens each time
I bend for another piece.

The stairs come last.

I pull them from the frame
and carry them alone,
one hand beneath the bottom step,
the other gripping the rail.

They are heavier
than they should be.

For a while I leave them
in the middle of the room,
no longer connected
to a sleepy child,
or to the dog or cat
following her up
for one more snuggle before bed.

They look like the stairs
rolled across a runway
to meet a plane.

Tomorrow I may use them
to change a light bulb
or clear the cobwebs
from the ceiling.

Tonight they rise
from the open floor
to nothing—

each step still keeping
the distance between
the child who climbed it
and the empty air
where she used to sleep.

What Was So Fugitive
Listen on Tidal. Listen on Spotify.

1. “Cocoon” – Morphine
2. “That Is Like You” – Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith
3. “Sextet: Modern Times” – Dave Holland
4. “Ursonate: III. Scherzo” – Christopher Butterfield
5. “I’m Into Livin’” – Stevie Wonder
6. “Avoid The Drones (Live at Real World Studios)” – Alfa Mist
7. “Second meditation” – Anna Pidgorna, Ludovico Ensemble
8. “Primera Parte” – Neil Luck, Adam de la Cour, Kurt Schwitters
9. “The Knife Dream” – Protomartyr
10. “Living/Ending” – Godflesh
11. “Plain Harmony I” – Kreutzer Quartet
12. “Someday” – Lalah Hathaway
13. “Ophelia” – Johnny Marr

Stephen McClurg (Episode 473 & 666) composes and improvises in Serenity Dagger, The Abdomen, and other projects. Along with session work for mid-Alabama singer/songwriters, he frequently collaborates with musicians across the state adding bass, guitar, and synths to friends’ recordings. He currently writes reviews for Horror DNA and is the substitute low end wrangler for Mobile-based punk rock band Future Hate. You can find out more about his work here.