The Perfect Life

Dear Dr. Perfect, I just started my ENC 1102 class, and our first assignment was to write a review for a movie of our choosing. A class friend had asked to see my essay so they could figure out how to format theirs and I happily obliged. Come to find out, they took my work Continue reading

Dear Dr. Perfect,  I think my guy friend is crushing on me. I’m totally not into him, but he seems to think the opposite. I just want him off my case without ruining the friendship, but I’m running out of excuses for why we can never hang one-on-one anymore. I hoped that he would take Continue reading

Dear Dr. Perfect, The new Fortnite season is coming soon, but my dad won’t buy me V-bucks! Since I’m going into high school this year, he thinks that I should get a job instead of relying on him for stuff like this. I don’t want a job, I just want to play Fortnite. It’s only Continue reading

Last Tuesday, my wife and I put on Twister for family movie night. We had thought our 7-year-old daughter was old enough for it, but alas, she was terrified and has been scared to go outside ever since. She cries when we ask her to come outside with us and is convinced that a tornado will come Continue reading

Dear Dr. Perfect, I’ve suffered from insomnia for the past two months.  I’m going crazy. I’ve tried everything! Melatonin gummies, long runs for exercise, and working myself to exhaustion.  Nothing.  On most days I get about 1-2 hours of sleep.  Any ideas? Sincerely,Anguished Insomniac Dear Insomniac, Have you tried reading War and Peace? Anything by Tolstoy Continue reading

Dear Dr. Perfect, My husband and I just welcomed our first-born daughter into the world. We are overjoyed. Even though caring for a newborn is extremely challenging, we’ve been doing great as a team, especially because he has ceased his freelance work to help. Recently though, my husband has shown a desire to get back Continue reading

Dear Dr. Perfect, There’s this girl at work that I have a total crush on. We get along super well and sometimes hang after work. I really like her, and I know for a fact that she’s single. I’m worried that I’ll ruin our friendship by asking her out, or worse, we break up and Continue reading

Dear Dr. Perfect, My roommate will shove a load in the washer and leave the apartment for hours, sometimes not coming home until the next day. When I ask if I can transfer her clothes for her, she gets pissy.  Even though I only do laundry once or twice a week, it feels like an Continue reading

Dear Dr. Perfect, My fiancé asked me when we were going to finally get married. When I told her that I didn’t believe in marriage, what’s-her-name berated me for proposing to her, which I never did. Her accusation forced me to berate her for accepting marriage proposals from strange men. She demanded we go to Continue reading

Dear Dr. Perfect, Where I live, the temperature is brutal. Around this time of year, I wonder about the sartorial prohibition against wearing white or summer fabrics before Labor Day. I suspect the prohibition comes from superstition, or some latent trauma deriving from malingering winters with belated snowfall that can drive a poor mortal insane. Continue reading