The Lists #1 by John King

FORTHCOMING FILMS IN THE DIE HARD FRANCHISE

 DIE HARD AS NAILS

When his granddaughter’s hamster goes missing, John McClane must take the yakuza down.

DIE HARD-TASTIC-O

On a honeymoon in Cozumel with his twenty-three year old bride, John McClane must protect her from a gambling cartel that is using bullfighting to extort the prime minister of Finland.

DIE HARD AND FAST

John McClane squints, smirks, and bleeds from his elderly muscles while cinematographers take shaky close-ups of incomprehensible action sequences involving bazookas, motorized unicycles, and the International Space Station.

DIE HARD AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

John McClane pursues a terrorist cell of genetic engineers after Shia Lebouef claims to be his son.

DIE HARD AT HEART

John McClane must be miniaturized to combat micro-terrorists (led by the former prime minister of Finland’s cousin) who are threatening his wife’s life via her bloodstream.

DIE HARD TO SWALLOW

John McClane eats a bran muffin.

DIE HARD TO DIE HARD

John McClane must travel to the future to stop John McClane from killing the former prime minister of Finland’s nephew while mountain climbing in the Swiss Alps.

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John King (Episode, well, all of them) is a podcaster, writer, and ferret wrangler.