• About
  • Cats Dig Hemingway
  • Guest Bookings
  • John King’s Publications
  • Literary Memes
  • Podcast Episode Guide
  • Store!
  • The Rogue’s Guide to Shakespeare on Film
  • Videos
  • Writing Craft Discussions

The Drunken Odyssey

~ A Podcast About the Writing Life

The Drunken Odyssey

Tag Archives: Scatman Crothers

The Curator of Schlock #74: Zapped!

30 Friday Jan 2015

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Film, The Curator of Schlock

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Albert Einstein, Charles in Charge, Eddie Deezen, Scatman Crothers, Scott Baio, Zapped!

The Curator of Schlock #74 by Jeff Shuster

Zapped!

Placing an exclamation point in your title really makes it stand out!

Your Curator of Schlock has long had the wish for a Chucky vs. Leprechaun movie. Another dream of mine is to one day see a Scanners vs. Highlanders movie. Oooh. Maybe the movie could even feature a Scanner-Highlander hybrid. Such a Highlander would only have to explode the heads of the other immortals he was fighting instead of all of that pointless swordplay. That’s my pitch. I’ll sell it to any Hollywood studio for 10% of the gross. Are you listening Mr. Cronenberg?

Anyway, I’m fresh out of Scanners movies seeing as how Scanner Cop is proving hard to find. Never fear, I discovered this movie called Zapped! and it’s all about telekinesis!

Zapped Half Sheet PosterPlus, it stars Scott Baio. That’s the guy who played Chachi on Happy Days for all of you oldsters out there. Some of you younglings may know him from the hit sitcom Charles in Charge. Buddy is so funny. Why can’t the idiots who live next door in real life be so funny?

Oh my! The actor who played Buddy is also in this movie! This like Charles in Charge: The Early Years! In fact, I’m going to call the characters by their Charles in Charge names for the rest of this review. Anyway, Charles (Scott Baio) plays a nerdy high school science geek who likes to experiment on mice.

Zapped Still 2Scatman Crothers pops in the lab every now and then to give him some sage words of advice like “First come the woman. Then the whiskey.”

Zapped still 1Buddy (Willie Aames) is a rich kid and the school photographer who takes pictures of cheerleaders in compromising positions. I think he’s also having an affair with one of the school secretaries.

Anyway, the mice turn telekinetic from Charles’s telekinesis juice, he spills some chemicals, and gets zapped. His parents think he’s on drugs or something. That something happens to be telekinesis. He could become one of the X-Men if only Professor Xavier admitted non-mutants! Anyway, Charles’s newfound powers allow him to do all sorts of things like levitate glass beakers, breaking the glasses of nosy school reporters, and control the flight of baseballs so his school can win the big game. Someone call Arnold Rothstein!

Oh, yeah: Jeffrey Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, and episode 131) is an MFA candidate at the University of Central Florida.Scatman Crothers has a pot-induced fantasy where he rides bicycles with Albert Einstein.

Zapped Still 3That’s all well and good, but I have yet to see one head explode! The crusty old school principal is just waiting to get humiliated in front of the student body, but the joke is on us after we see him go on a sleazy blind date. Ewwww! Charles and Buddy go to a fraternity casino party so they can tele-cheat on a roulette wheel. Eddie Deezen is present at this party (why am I not surprised.) Charles spins the wheel too fast and it levitates off the table. Will the frat learn Charles’s secret and exploit it for their own use? Will Charles throw up pea soup in front of a couple of priests? Did I mention this movie has a flying ventriloquist dummy in it?

Five Things I Learned from Zapped!

  1. They make diving suits for mice!
  2. You could grow pot in high schools back in the 80s.
  3. Power ballads really slow a movie down.
  4. Eddy Deezen really lights up a room.
  5. Carrie could have so easily been a comedy.

_______

Photo by Leslie Salas

Photo by Leslie Salas

Jeffrey Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, and episode 131) is an MFA candidate at the University of Central Florida.

Scribophile, the online writing group for serious writers

Online, shop here:

If you must, shop Amazon and help the show.

Audible.com

Blogs

Not forgotten

Categories

  • 21st Century Bronte
  • A Word from the King
  • Aesthetic Drift
  • animation
  • Anime
  • Art
  • Autobiography
  • AWP
  • Biography
  • Blog Post
  • Bloomsday
  • Buddhism
  • Buzzed Books
  • Cheryl Strayed
  • Children's Literature
  • Christmas
  • Christmas literature
  • Comedy
  • Comic Books
  • Comics Are Trying to Break Your Heart
  • Craft of Fiction Writing
  • Creative Nonfiction
  • David Foster Wallace
  • David James Poissant
  • David Lynch
  • David Sedaris
  • Disney
  • Dispatches from the Funkstown Clarion
  • Doctor Who
  • Drinking
  • Dungeons and Dragons
  • Editing
  • Education
  • Episode
  • Erotic Literature
  • Essay
  • Fan Fiction
  • Fantasy
  • Feminism
  • Film
  • Film Commentary
  • Flash Fiction
  • Florida Literature
  • Francesca Lia Block
  • Functionally Literate
  • Ghost writing
  • Graphic Novels
  • Gutter Space
  • Help me!
  • Heroes Never Rust
  • History
  • Horror
  • Humor
  • Hunter S. Thompson
  • In Boozo Veritas
  • Irish Literature
  • Jack Kerouac
  • James Bond
  • James Joyce
  • Jazz
  • Journalism
  • Kerouac House
  • Kung Fu
  • Like a Geek God
  • Literary Criticism
  • Literary Magazines
  • Literary Prizes
  • Literary rizes
  • Literature of Florida
  • Litlando
  • Live Show
  • Loading the Canon
  • Loose Lips Reading Series
  • Lost Chords & Serenades Divine
  • Magic Realism
  • Mailbag
  • manga
  • McMillan's Codex
  • Memoir
  • Miami Book Fair
  • Michael Caine
  • Military Literature
  • Mixtape
  • Music
  • New York City
  • O, Miami
  • Old Poem Revue
  • On Top of It
  • Pensive Prowler
  • Philosophy
  • Photography
  • Poetry
  • politics
  • Postmodernism
  • Publishing
  • Recommendation
  • Repeal Day
  • science
  • Science Fiction
  • Screenwriting
  • Sexuality
  • Shakespeare
  • Shakespearing
  • Sozzled Scribbler
  • Sports
  • Star Wars
  • Television
  • The Bible
  • The Curator of Schlock
  • The Global Barfly's Companion
  • The Lists
  • The Perfect Life
  • The Pink Fire Revue
  • The Rogue's Guide to Shakespeare on Film
  • Theater
  • There Will Be Words
  • translation
  • Travel Writing
  • Vanessa Blakeslee
  • Versify
  • Video Games
  • Violence
  • Virginia Woolf
  • War
  • Westerns
  • Word From the King
  • Young Adult
  • Your Next Beach Read
  • Zombies

Recent Posts

  • Episode 524: Yeoh Jo-Ann!
  • The Curator of Schlock #382: Dark Crimes
  • Comics Are Trying to Break Your Heart #175
  • Episode 523: Aaron Angello!
  • The Curator of Schlock #381: The Driver

Archives

  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • The Drunken Odyssey
    • Join 3,107 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • The Drunken Odyssey
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...