The Lists #21 by John King
- All those years, and I felt foolish. I had gone around with total self-assurance that Jewel’s hands were, in fact, my hands, and I was so proud of myself for having four hands, two of which were pretty nimble with guitar playing. It turns out they were Jewel’s hands, not mine—even though her hands felt so natural as a form of auxiliary hands for me. Sometimes I miss not having her hands, even though I know it is wrong.
- I am not being vain, Carly Simon, since this song in fact is about me.
- Isn’t it ironic that Alanis Morissette doesn’t quite know what ironic means? And isn’t it even more ironic that, being schizophrenic and traveling cross-country in a car full of her selves, none of the Alanis Morissettes quite know what ironic means?
- Katy Perry, what sort of eyes do you have again? I just finished your song and somehow missed it. Let me replay it. … Nope, still missed it.
- Brian Johnson, so if you are a heat-seeker, then why would you need a life preserver, and under what circumstances would you need someone to hose you down? I understand that in this case, you don’t need those things, but why would other, less heat-seeking people need them? Are the metaphors burning up on re-entry? Did I miss something? I’m in the weeds here.
- Bono, that is not the blues.
- Um, Peter Chris, if you can’t see Beth until KISS finds its sound, well … did you ever see her again?
John King (Episode, well, all of them) is a podcaster, writer, and ferret wrangler.