“Help!”

Edwige, my kangaroo companion from my misadventures in North America, the Revenging Manta, the ninja vigilante of downtown Orlando, and I heard the cry coming from the Sheena: Queen of the Jungle exhibit. I almost tripped over the collapsed state of Tanya Roberts while rushing into the exhibit. Waldo, the punk of the Goose Lord gang I thought I subdued, was hanging from a branch of an artificial fynbos tree while a lioness roared at him.

— To be continued. 

This week’s movie is 1976’s Violent Naples from director Umberto Lenzi. Hey, this one stars John Saxon. Do any of you remember John Jaxon, star of such movies as Cannibal Apocalypse, Battle Beyond the Stars, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Beverly Hills Cop III? Beverly Hills Cop III was the one that took place in the amusement park. No, it’s not the bad one of that trilogy. It holds up better than you’d think.

Violent Naples begins with Commissioner Betti (Maurizio Merli) transferring to Naples and it’s the same handsome Italian man with a boss mustache from last week’s movie. Was Maurizio Merli the Clint Eastwood of poliziottesco films? He’s greeted in Naples by almost getting run over by a goon working for The Commandante (Barry Sullivan), our chief villain of this picture. Among other nefarious activities, The Commandant offers a protection racket to various small businesses in Naples. And if you don’t pay up, you get your shop wrecked or worse.

The Commandante isn’t the only crook Bette has to contend with. We’ve got a couple of nasty scumbags trying to rob this wealthy man, but the wealthy man keeps setting off various alarms in his house, foiling their plans. They still manage to kidnap his wife and leave her to be found by the police, bruised and broken. Betti sets up an entrapment operation to catch them and one of the scumbags manages to impale himself on a spiked gate trying to escape. That’s a really stupid way to die.

There’s also a bank robber named Franco (Elio Zamuto) who’s got a beef with Bette for putting him away once before. Franco has come up with a clever scheme. He robs a bank on one side of town and a motorcyclist drives him away and drops him off on the other side of town in no time flat. This frustrates Bette to no end, but when he finally catches up to Franco’s operation, we get a chase scene culminating in a violent face-off on a commuter train.

But chief among these villains is The Commandante who likes to roll bowling balls into the heads of his enemies. Getting back to the aforementioned protection racket, there’s this mechanic who refuses to pay so The Commandante’s goons pour gasoline all over his car shop and set it ablaze. The mechanic’s young son is crying in the background and his father sacrifices himself to save him. Also, the kid had his leg or pelvis shattered during his rescue so he’ll never walk properly again. I hate The Commandante! Leave children out of your schemes!

John Saxon plays a businessman named Francesco Capuano and he’s the key to taking down The Commandate.

It seems the Monthly Film Bulletin, a British rag from back in the day, accused Violent Naples of being a Dirty Harry ripoff.

I agree. Violent Naples is so good!

Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, episode 496, episode 545, episode 546, episode 547, episode 548, episode 549, episode 575, episode 596, episode 597, episode 598, and episode 599) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.