\Without knowing where in the building the Goose Lord was, I decided that I, the Curator of Schlock, Edwidge the kangaroo, the Revenging Manta, and Waldo should make our way to service elevator. With power restored to the building, we should have been able to get down to the basement and see if there were any clues to this gang’s operations down there. — To be continued. 

Tonight’s movie is 1987’s The Running Man from director Paul Michael Glaser. This one was a childhood staple of mine. I remember we had the VHS tape. I think it was regularly aired on Showtime too. Yes, I watched R-rated movies as a kid. What? You didn’t? Arnold Schwarzenegger was a household name back in the day and my favorite movies with him usually took place in a futuristic dystopian hell. The Running Man is a great example of one of these.

In the future, the United States has turned into a police state following world wide economic collapse and depletion of natural resources. A potentially violent populace is subdued with television game shows, the most popular of which is titled The Running Man. On this game show, hardened criminals are sent into maze-like arenas to face off against high tech gladiators called stalkers. If they can make it out alive, they receive a full pardon and can go their merry way. But few ever do.

Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as Ben Richards, a police officer who refused to fire upon food rioters due them being unarmed. Defying his orders to shoot at the crowd from his helicopter, Richard is subdued by his men and sent to prison and blamed for the killing of the rioting civilians. While in a labor camp, he hatches an escape plan with fellow prisoners Harold Weiss (Marvin J. McIntyre) and William Laughlin (Yaphet Kotto). Weiiss and Laughlin are members of a resistance and want Richard to join them, but he’s never been one for politics and leaves to find his brother so he can figure out a way to sneak out of the country.

Unfortunately, Richards’ brother was sent away for reeducation and his apartment is now owned by a young woman named Amber Mendez (María Conchita Alonso). She screams that he’s “The Butcher of Bakersfield” and intimidates her into helping him leave the country, but she betrays him to the authorities. Richards then meets Damon Killian (Richard Dawson), the sadistic host of The Running Man. He wants Richards as his next contestant. When Richards refuses, he threatens to throw a recently captured Weiiss and Laughlin into the lion’s den. 

Richard agrees, signs the contract, and we are treated to a spectacle of dancing girls and noisy spectators, all of whom want Richards dead. Killian tells Richards he won’t be alone as it’s announced Weiss and Laughlin will be going with him, reneging on his part of the deal. Richards and company face off against the first stalker of the night, Professor Sub-Zero (Toru Tanaka). He kills his prey with a lethal hockey stick. Arnold manages to slice his throat with barbed wire. 

Still, there are more stalkers to come like Buzzsaw (Gus Rethwisch) and Fireball (Jim Brown). The stalker named Dynamo (Erland Van Lidth) even sings opera music while shooting electricity from his hand. Soon Amber joins Richards and company when the network catches her snooping around the archives, trying to find out the truth of the Bakersfield massacre. Will the four of them survive and expose the lies of this totalitarian stake? Will Killian die in a fiery explosion? Watch it and find out.

 Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, episode 496, episode 545, episode 546, episode 547, episode 548, episode 549, episode 575, episode 596, episode 597, episode 598, and episode 599) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.