I’ve said this before, but I am not a Star Trek fan, but I did learn a bit about the series and philosophy from a dweeb whose head I used to dunk in the toilet on a regular basis back in high school. I learned about Vulcan philosophy and how logic dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Following that logic, if I caused a few traffic mishaps or caused some collisions in my pursuit of the assassin of the Banana-Man, I think I was in the right. Especially, when the information that assassin had might be the difference between life and death.

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

— To be continued. 

It’s Bruce Lee Month here at the Museum of Schlock and we’re kicking things off with 1971’s The Big Boss from director Lo Wei. Bruce Lee plays Cheng Chao-an, a young Chinese man recently moved to the town of Pak Chong, Thailand. He stays with his cousins, hoping to start over and get a job at the local ice factory. Pak Chong has its rough side with local bullies stealing from children trying to make a buck selling homemade buns. Still, Cheng made a promise to never fight again so he doesn’t beat up the bullies.

Wait. What? This is a Bruce Lee movie. I want to see him kicking butt. This isn’t Ghandi after all. As I said, the big employer in town is the local ice factory. I guess the residents of Pak Chong are still using ice boxes. The hardworking men of the community slice the big bricks into smaller bricks using a large buzzsaw that rises from the floor of the workhouse. During Cheng’s first day of the job, a brick crashes revealing bags of dope have been frozen inside. This must be how the factory has stayed afloat so long. They’re not selling ice. They’re smuggling smack!

Imagine this scenario. Your manager brings you and your coworker into the office because you and your friend are the only two people who have seen the dope being smuggled in the ice. Your manager offers both of you a thousand dollars each and a chance at promotion in the drug smuggling trade. You refuse the promotion because you’re just a simple country boy that wants nothing to do with drugs. The manager then insists that you at least take the money but you refuse it, claiming you didn’t earn it. You do promise not to tell anyone about the drugs, but your manager doesn’t take your word for it. He instead has you murdered and your body sliced into little pieces with that buzzsaw you were cutting the ice with earlier that day. Let that be a lesson to you. Next time take the money and run!

Cheng’s cousin, Hsu (James Tien), visits the fancy estate of the owner of the company, Hsiao Mi (Han Ying-chieh), and Hsiao insists that he’s doing everything possible to find the missing men that were cut up the day before. Hsu says it’s time the police got involved, but he doesn’t make his way off the property before getting cut to ribbons by Hsiao’s goons. I think it goes without saying that Cheng will break his vow of nonviolence and break some bones of Hsiao’s gang.

But that still leaves Hsiao to deal with and he’s no slouch in the kung fu department. I guess that’s why the movie is titled The Big Boss.

Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, episode 496, episode 545, episode 546, episode 547, episode 548, episode 549, episode 575, episode 596, episode 597, episode 598, episode 599, episode 642, episode 643, episode 644, episode 645, and episode 670) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.