There may be some rumors spreading around the World Wide Web about an incident involving Burt Ward and Edwige, my kangaroo companion from my misadventures in North America. We never had Burt Ward at the Museum of Schlock for Batman Day. And Burt Ward certainly didn’t pat Edwige on the back triggering her to attack and dislocate one of his shoulders. Any medical expenses surely wouldn’t be mine due to the waiver I had him sign before entering the premises.

But like I said, none of this happened. 

Tonight’s movie is 2023’s Batman: The Doom That Came to Gotham from directors Christopher Berkeley and Sam Liu.  If you’ve wanted to see a Batman movie where the Dark Knight battles against nameless horror beyond human comprehension then this is the movie for you. For the rest of us, it may try our patience as this is another Elseworlds story where familiar DC characters are transported to other time periods or other “what if” scenarios. Like if Kal-El landed in Stalinist Russia instead of the breadbasket of America or if Wonder Woman came to help humanity not during World War II, but in our fight against an AI apocalypse.

Our story begins with Bruce Wayne and company uncovering an arctic exhibition by none other than Oswald Cobblepot. Things went horribly wrong during this exhibition when Cobblepot uncovered an Eldrich horror buried in the ice. Cobblepot became infected by this horrible creature while his crew were all killed. We learn this from a talking corpse named Grendon who removed his own eyes in order to serve his otherworldly master. Wayne takes the talking corpse with him and sails back to Gotham along with companions: Alfred Pennyworth, Dick Grayson, Sanjay “Jay” Tawde, and Kai Li Cain. Jay draws the unlucky straw and stays on the boat to keep an eye on Grendon while the rest of them head back to Wayne Manor. I’m sure nothing bad will happen to Jay while the others are away.

There’s a dead body of a maverick scientist named Kurt Langstrom in Wayne Manor library. He and Alfred dispose of the body. No need to get the police involved. Later that evening, a demon named Etrigan warns him that he must die and be reborn and that Gotham must burn to the ground in order to be saved. Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, and Kai Li Cain then visit Bruce’s good friend, Oliver Queen for dinner and drinks. Why is it every movie these days that takes place during prohibition have its cast of characters getting sloshed? Bruce leaves to finally don the cape and cowl as he investigates the mysterious Cult of Ghul who worship an ancient, cosmic god. 

Batman runs into Talia Ghul, daughter of the late Ra’s al Ghul, who seeks out a magic talisman from an old librarian and then uses a magic frog to burrow into the guy’s ear and turn him into a flame monster which Batman then has to fight before having to contend with some sort of lizard man. This movie confused me, but as it’s trying to insert Batman into a Lovecraftian horror universe, maybe it’s doing its job. There’s a segment later where Oliver Queen uses arrows dipped in the blood of St. Sebastian against a plant lady sent by Talia Ghul. Not sure how that would work against creatures of cosmic horror. I’ve heard people say that Batman Ninja is akin to a fever dream, but it’s nothing compared to this. Check out Batman: The Doom That Came to Gotham at your own risk. 

Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443,episode 444, episode 450,episode 477, episode 491, episode 492,episode 493, episode 495, episode 496, episode 545, episode 546, episode 547, episode 548, episode 549, episode 575, episode 596, episode 597, episode 598, episode 599, episode 642, episode 643, episode 644, episode 645, episode 670, episode 686, episode 687,  688, and 689) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.