The Curator of Schlock
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The Curator of Schlock #353: Die Hard 2
I felt cold water splash across my face as I came to. A smirking Albert Simmons was holding the bucket. Standing next to him was the Goose Lord, dressed as Count Zarth Arn from Starcrash. The Goose Lord knelt down in front of me and grabbed my chin. “I know you think you’re the victim, Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #352: Die Hard
We were done for. Edwige, my kangaroo companion from my misadventures in North America, and the Revenging Manta, the ninja vigilante of downtown Orlando, were down for the count. The Goose Lord and his gang of malcontents. A whirring in the air caused me to gaze up, and I saw six transport helicopters flying in Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #351: Oh. What. Fun.
I was about to get my throat slit by a man dressed as a character from a Star Wars knockoff. The Revenging Manta, the ninja vigilante of downtown Orlando, crept out of the van, ready to surrender himself over to the mob to save my skin. He slowly withdrew his sword and dropped it on the Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #360: Riddick
I flew out of the van, fists clenched and ready to pound. My eyes were on the Goose Lord’s Enforcer and the crumpled mess of a kangaroo that lay in front of him. I would beat him within an inch of his life for what he did to Edwige, but my gesture was ill-advised. One Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #359: The Chronicles of Riddick
Edwige hopped toward the Enforcer of the Goose Lord and then stopped five feet in front of him. I’d seen that stance before. It’s what she used once before committing a fatal blow, one she delivered with a flying roundhouse. Edwige made her move, but so did the Enforcer. He brandished a chain whip that Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #358: Pitch Black
The army of gang members surrounded our van. There was no escape. Two figures emerged through the multitudes of torn jeans and bandanas. The first was Goose Lord’s second in command, a man decked out as the robot sheriff Elle from the movie Starcrash. He had defeated the Revenging Manta the night before, a feat I Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #357: City of the Living Dead
I heard a dog howl. And then another dog howled. And then many dogs howled. Edwige awoke, rattled from the noise. “Those aren’t dogs,” the Revenging Manta whispered in my ear. I looked in the rearview window and saw dozens if not hundreds of bandana wearing goons as far as I could see. The Goose Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #356: Macabre
We waited under the cover of night for the Goose Lord and his gang to make a move at the Monroe Harbour Marina. Since Edwige, Revenging Manta, and I were all dead-dog tired, we had Albert Simmons stand watch and wake us when anything unusual happened. I dozed off and woke up about half past Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #355: Demons 2
We were all headed down to the Monroe Harbour Marina when the exhaustion overtook me. I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in forever and our all night assault on the gang in the Museum of Schlock. I was hungry too. We stopped at a Long John Silver’s. I got a large Pepsi and the Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #354: Demons
The Revenging Manta was wrapping up his interrogation of the mysterious assassin we had chased down through downtown Orlando. The Goose Lord and his gang were expecting a delivery at the Monroe Harbour Marina in Sanford, FL. The delivery was to take place at 3 AM under the cover of night. The delivery would be Continue reading
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