The Curator of Schlock
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The Curator of Schlock #344: American Ninja
“Okay. Okay. I’ll talk,” the Banana-Man said as the Revenging Manta gripped his shoulder. “Something big is going on tonight,” the Banana-Man said, panting for breath. “I’ll tell you everything I know, but you have to protect me.” The Revenging Manta nodded, but before Banana-Man could utter another word, a shot rang out, Banana-Man taking Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #533: From Corleone to Brooklyn
“Hey, man,” Banana-Man said standing in nothing but his underwear. “Don’t kill me.” The Revenging Manta, the ninja vigilante of downtown Orlando, held his sword at the ready. I could see the bloodlust in his eyes. He wanted to cut the head off of this man who feigned selling chocolate covered bananas to children with Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #532: The Violent Professionals
In a flash, the Revenging Manta sliced his blade into the bullet flying toward my heart, cleaving it in two. The ninja vigilante of downtown Orlando then directed his attention to the man in the banana costume, cutting the fabric to ribbons until all that was left standing was a hairy man wearing nothing but Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #531: Revolver
My life flashed before my eyes. That first time seeing Howard the Duck, Roadhouse, and Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. That time I got my outward retainer stuck in my left eye. That time I stuck a wad of aluminum foil in the microwave to see what happened. These are the things one thinks of before one dies. The bullet Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #530: Big Guns
Banana-Man struggled to get up, but eventually got to his feet. Edwige, my kangaroo companion from misadventures in North America, growled again and looked ready to pounce on the man. I stood in front of her, wagging my finger in her face. Kangaroos don’t understand that street vendors have a right to refuse a fifty Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #529: Absolution
The Revenging Manta, the ninja vigilante of downtown Orlando, slowly slid the straw from his large cherry slurpee up through his mask. He sipped a few gulps, no doubt in contemplating about what our responsibility was to the downed Banana-Man crumpled on the blacktop. The Banana-Man began to stir, opening his eyes as he struggled Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #528: The Goonies
The Goonies I was transfixed at the sight of the unconscious Banana-Man and the dozen or so street urchins grabbing at the chocolate covered frozen bananas that had spilled onto the asphalt. Edwige, my kangaro companion from my misadventures in North America, looked pleased with herself as she had been the one to knock him Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #527: Goulies IV
Albert Simmons and I walked out of the hospital. Much to my surprise, Edwige, my kangaroo companion from my misadventures in North America, was having a tussle with a man dressed as a banana. Banana-Man was a frozen banana vendor and he was chucking chocolate covered bananas at Edwige rapid fire. Edwige hopped her way Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #526: Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College
I wandered the halls of the hospital, lost in my thoughts. The kid with the beanie and his musclebound father crossed my path. I knew Albert Simmons, accountant to the Goose Lord and his gang, must be close by. I found him in a waiting room, knocked out with a bloody nose with two Snickers Continue reading
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Episode 670: A Discussion of the Ewok Trilogy, with Jeff Shuster!
Episode 670 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature, is available on iTunes, or right click here to download. On this episode, a sadly sober podcaster and intrepid reviewer of cinematic schlock celebrate May the 4th by directing their attention to the most obscure Star Wars trilogy of them all. TEXTS DISCUSSED NOTES Continue reading
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