The Curator of Schlock
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The Curator of Schlock #531: Revolver
My life flashed before my eyes. That first time seeing Howard the Duck, Roadhouse, and Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. That time I got my outward retainer stuck in my left eye. That time I stuck a wad of aluminum foil in the microwave to see what happened. These are the things one thinks of before one dies. The bullet Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #530: Big Guns
Banana-Man struggled to get up, but eventually got to his feet. Edwige, my kangaroo companion from misadventures in North America, growled again and looked ready to pounce on the man. I stood in front of her, wagging my finger in her face. Kangaroos don’t understand that street vendors have a right to refuse a fifty Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #529: Absolution
The Revenging Manta, the ninja vigilante of downtown Orlando, slowly slid the straw from his large cherry slurpee up through his mask. He sipped a few gulps, no doubt in contemplating about what our responsibility was to the downed Banana-Man crumpled on the blacktop. The Banana-Man began to stir, opening his eyes as he struggled Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #528: The Goonies
The Goonies I was transfixed at the sight of the unconscious Banana-Man and the dozen or so street urchins grabbing at the chocolate covered frozen bananas that had spilled onto the asphalt. Edwige, my kangaro companion from my misadventures in North America, looked pleased with herself as she had been the one to knock him Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #527: Goulies IV
Albert Simmons and I walked out of the hospital. Much to my surprise, Edwige, my kangaroo companion from my misadventures in North America, was having a tussle with a man dressed as a banana. Banana-Man was a frozen banana vendor and he was chucking chocolate covered bananas at Edwige rapid fire. Edwige hopped her way Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #526: Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College
I wandered the halls of the hospital, lost in my thoughts. The kid with the beanie and his musclebound father crossed my path. I knew Albert Simmons, accountant to the Goose Lord and his gang, must be close by. I found him in a waiting room, knocked out with a bloody nose with two Snickers Continue reading
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Episode 670: A Discussion of the Ewok Trilogy, with Jeff Shuster!
Episode 670 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature, is available on iTunes, or right click here to download. On this episode, a sadly sober podcaster and intrepid reviewer of cinematic schlock celebrate May the 4th by directing their attention to the most obscure Star Wars trilogy of them all. TEXTS DISCUSSED NOTES Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock # 525: Ghoulies II
Seeing Waldo hooked up to that ventilator and clinging for dear life filled my heart with sorrow. Yes, he was a flawed man who defaced the statue of Carl Weathers in the Museum of Schlock, but even that despicable deed didn’t earn him this pitiful state. I left the room distraught, wondering if saving my Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #524: Critters 2
I had lost track of Albert Simmons, accountant to the Goose Lord and his gang, and was aimlessly wandering the corridors of the hospital. By happenstance, I walked across a room with some poor sod hooked up to some kind of ventilator and an IV. Then I noticed a Ziggy tattoo on his left forearm Continue reading
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The Curator of Shlock #523: Critters
Albert Simmons, accountant to the Goose Lord and his gang, had dashed after a kid that had taken the last two Snickers Almonds from the hospital vending machine. I rushed after Albert, but just missed him getting into an elevator with the kid and a large man inside. I yelled at him to hold it Continue reading
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