The Curator of Schlock
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The Curator of Schlock #349: The Way of the Dragon
Our fervid chase of the assassin brought us to a roundabout. The assassin on the red Ducati took the second exit. We were gaining when the Revenging Manta, the ninja vigilante of downtown Orlando, unfastened his seatbelt, slid the passenger door open, and climbed to the roof. He advanced to the hood of the van.… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #348: Fist of Fury
During our car chase for the assassin of the Banana-Man, I may cut in front of a cement truck, forcing the driver to slam on the brakes. A just-married couple was right behind him, driving in a brand new Ford Mustang. They crashed into the back of him, somehow triggering the truck to start pouring… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #347: The Big Boss
I’ve said this before, but I am not a Star Trek fan, but I did learn a bit about the series and philosophy from a dweeb whose head I used to dunk in the toilet on a regular basis back in high school. I learned about Vulcan philosophy and how logic dictates that the needs… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #346: The New Kids
The four of us hopped in the Banana-Man’s van, anxious to speed after the unknown assassin that took his life as he was about to expose the Goose Lord’s plans. I turned on the ignition. Edwige sat up front just like old times, seat belt unfastened. I put the pedal to the metal and off… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #344: American Ninja
“Okay. Okay. I’ll talk,” the Banana-Man said as the Revenging Manta gripped his shoulder. “Something big is going on tonight,” the Banana-Man said, panting for breath. “I’ll tell you everything I know, but you have to protect me.” The Revenging Manta nodded, but before Banana-Man could utter another word, a shot rang out, Banana-Man taking… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #533: From Corleone to Brooklyn
“Hey, man,” Banana-Man said standing in nothing but his underwear. “Don’t kill me.” The Revenging Manta, the ninja vigilante of downtown Orlando, held his sword at the ready. I could see the bloodlust in his eyes. He wanted to cut the head off of this man who feigned selling chocolate covered bananas to children with… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #532: The Violent Professionals
In a flash, the Revenging Manta sliced his blade into the bullet flying toward my heart, cleaving it in two. The ninja vigilante of downtown Orlando then directed his attention to the man in the banana costume, cutting the fabric to ribbons until all that was left standing was a hairy man wearing nothing but… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #531: Revolver
My life flashed before my eyes. That first time seeing Howard the Duck, Roadhouse, and Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. That time I got my outward retainer stuck in my left eye. That time I stuck a wad of aluminum foil in the microwave to see what happened. These are the things one thinks of before one dies. The bullet… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #530: Big Guns
Banana-Man struggled to get up, but eventually got to his feet. Edwige, my kangaroo companion from misadventures in North America, growled again and looked ready to pounce on the man. I stood in front of her, wagging my finger in her face. Kangaroos don’t understand that street vendors have a right to refuse a fifty… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #529: Absolution
The Revenging Manta, the ninja vigilante of downtown Orlando, slowly slid the straw from his large cherry slurpee up through his mask. He sipped a few gulps, no doubt in contemplating about what our responsibility was to the downed Banana-Man crumpled on the blacktop. The Banana-Man began to stir, opening his eyes as he struggled… Continue reading
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