The Curator of Schlock #57 by Jeff Shuster
Lupin the 3rd: Farewell to Nostradamus
(That’s not the Japanese title!)
The third theatrical Lupin the 3rd animated feature is Lupin the 3rd The Legend of the Gold of Babylon. I used to have it on VHS back the day and remember it to be quite excruciating to watch. Unfortunately, I got rid of my VHS collection ages ago and The Legend of the Gold of Babylon is not currently on DVD. Rest assured, it will be presented in this museum if made available again. It’s just as well. That’s a convoluted title if I ever heard one: The Legend of the Gold of Babylon. You lose interest by the time you get to Babylon.
So if you remember my blogs from the past two weeks, you’ll know that I had quite a time procuring Lupin the 3rd The Mystery of Mamo and Lupin the 3rd The Castle of Cagliostro, but those were nothing compared to the monumental task of getting the fourth Lupin the 3rd feature, Farewell to Nostradamus. In the early days of the Internet, way before illegal streaming and illegal downloading, there were people online who would record and subtitle Japanese animation straight from Japan, and distribute them to you for the cost of a blank VHS tape and postage. So they weren’t making a profit from this and it was totally legal. Or maybe it wasn’t. Yeah, at the time I didn’t think it was legal so I refrained from sending a modest some for Lupin the 3rd Die, Nostradamus! Die! (Farewell to Nostradamus). Still, for the purposes of this review, let’s say that I did send out for a copy back in 1997 and received it ten months later.
My first reaction was that this was the greatest Lupin movie ever! You see there’s this evil Nostradamus sect doing terrible things throughout the world. They claim to have the lost prophesies of Nostradamus and release a new one to the world right before the predicted disaster strikes. For instance, they’ll say a huge whale in the Atlantic Ocean will burn like the sun. They’ll then proceed to secretly blow up a nuclear submarine. Wow! That’s pretty darn evil. Still, it gets new members flocking to the sect everyday.
So you’d think the cult would be unstoppable, but it turns out there’s an actual book of real lost Nostradamus prophecies. And it’s in a secret vault of one of the richest men in the United States of America. And that man is also running for President of the United States. What’s an evil cult to do? Kidnap the candidate’s 8-year-old daughter and use her as leverage to get into that vault and steal the lost prophesies. Yes, these guys are really evil.
Lupin and the gang also want the lost prophecies. A mysterious buyer is offering $50,000,000 for them. Inspector Zenigata is back, this time he has a Lupin-sniffing robot at his disposal. There’s a giant building in Atlanta, GA filled with sports stadiums and ski resorts with actual snow, and if you don’t think this building is going to become a deathtrap later in the film, you don’t know Lupin the 3rd movies.
Incidentally, the actual Japanese title of this movie translates to something close to Lupin the 3rd F@#$ You, Nostradamus! That is the greatest movie title of all time.
Five Things I Learned from Lupin the 3rd Farewell to Nostradamus
- Don’t join Nostradamus sects that blow up nuclear submarines.
- A glass eye makes a lovely keepsake.
- Rich girls don’t like to scoop water out of sinking boats.
- Beware of hypnotized Brazilian soccer players.
- Virtual Reality can be quite painful.