In Boozo Veritas #69 by Teege Braune
MEMO from The In Boozo Veritas Offices
To: John King, Host of The Drunken Odyssey
From: Teege Braune, Author of In Boozo Veritas
Subject: An invitation to a masked ball à la Eyes Wide Shut
Date: December 8, 2014
You are a close and personal friend, and I hope you know that it is with the utmost respect that I ask you to refrain from making negative comments (as you did in your last memo) about the precious Mrs. Windsor, your own neighbor with whom you have never attempted to engage in conversation, and who has, incidentally, become a sort of grandmotherly figure in my own life.
I first met Mrs. Windsor the same night we recorded our St. Patrick’s Day Drunken Odyssey roundtable, episode number 90. As we were parting ways after our lively discussion and successful bout of drinking, I noticed an elderly woman struggling with a couple over-filled garbage bags. As I assisted the woman to the dumpster she told me her name was Nuala Windsor and that she emigrated to the United States from England. Over the course of our conversation several mutual interests were uncovered including the poetry of Ovid, renaissance bronzes, and the films of Stanley Kubrick, in particular his masterpiece Eyes Wide Shut.
Since that evening we have spent many wonderful afternoons together sipping lemonade, watching our favorite film, and picking out the esoteric imagery hidden within. Mrs. Windsor has lived a long and adventurous life. Her stories are as thrilling and numerous as her wisdom is vast. I would happily deign to share my personal friend with you if you were at some point to make a neighborly effort with a kind and sweet, old lady.
One more thing: Mrs. Windsor wishes for me to apologize to you on her behalf. Her concern is that some of her parties might have kept her neighbors awake late at night. While it could surprise some that such a adorable woman would have interests that lean towards the libertine, I can tell you from personal experience that Mrs. Windsor’s parties are indeed some of the most enjoyable I’ve had the pleasure to attend. Here’s a picture of my friend Dave and I at her last soiree. I believe Mrs. Windsor is wearing the domino mask at 4:30 clockwise.
Next time instead of banging on the door at five am like old stick in the mud, just throw on a tuxedo, a black cloak, and a mask and join us in our revelry. The password for admittance is always “Fidelio,” and don’t worry if someone asks you the password for the house; they’re just messing with you. I guarantee you’ll have a good time, and who knows? Perhaps it will change your perception on Eyes Wide Shut and force you to realize that this film, which you call, “turgid psychosexual melodrama that is part architecture porn, part Noh play (maybe it’s just the acting), and part predictable postmodern conspiracy narrative,” is actually depicting events that take place closer to home than you know.
Teege Braune (episode 72, episode 75, episode 77, episode 90, episode 102, episode 122, episode 129) is a writer of literary fiction, horror, essays, and poetry. Recently he has discovered the joys of drinking responsibly. He may or may not be a werewolf.