Edwige, my kangaroo companion from my misadventures in North America, cracked the windshield of a Subaru Outback after a teen honked at us. She then proceeded to bounce up and down on the hood. The teen jumped out of the car and started screaming, “Get off my car!”
He then pulled out his iPhone and I knew we were done for.
— To be continued.
We conclude Japanese Horror Month with 2007’s Carved: The Slit-Mouthed Woman from director Kōji Shiraishi. Apparantly, the Slit-Mouthed Woman is a Japanese legend dating back to the 17th channel. Wearing a mask and brandishing a knife or large shears, she asks her victims of they find her pretty. If they say “Yes,” she removes her mask to reveal a face that’s slice cheek to cheek. If the victims says “Yes,” she slices their faces. If the victims say “Get away from me, you freak,” she kills them.
Our movie begins with children at a local elementary school telling stories about the Slit-Mouthed Woman. A father remarks to his daughter that he heard those stories when he was a kid. I guess all this chatter somehow summons the actual Slit-Mouthed Woman. The ground shakes and the people of the town think it’s an earthquake, but it’s only the evil spirit of the Slit-Mouthed Woman getting loosed upon the world. Three school boys are at the playground after school and the Slit-Mouthed Woman snatches one of them up while the other two run for their lives. Way to protect your buddy, chickenshits!
Our two protagonists are two elementary school teachers, Kyōko (Eriko Sato) and Noboru (Haruhiko Kato). Kyōko suspects one her students, a girl named Mika (Rie Kuwana), is being abused by her mother. While walking her home in broad daylight, the Slit-Mouthed Woman appears brandishing pinching shears and wearing a mask. She asks if she’s pretty and removes the mask, showcasing her destroyed cheeks. She snatches up Mika and Kyōko can only sit in fear as the Slit-Mouthed Woman walks away with the girl.
Kyōko and Noboru take it upon themselves to investigate the missing children and find the whereabouts of the Slit-Mouthed Woman as the local police are incompetant. A little boy tells one of the detectives that the Slit-Mouthed Woman lives in a house with a red roof and the detective states that many houses have red rooves. Yeah, but that’s still a clue and you can use it to narrow down your search! Alex Cross would have had this case solved hours ago!
Somehow, Kyōko and Noboru figure out the who the next victim of the Slit-Mouthed Woman will be and go to the boy’s house. They encounter her there, and to the two teacher’s credit, try to stop her. Kyōko finally stabs the Slit-Mouthed Woman and she she crumples to the floor, only for the three of them to see a local woman from the town, lying there lifeless. It seems the spirit of the Slit-Mouthed Woman can possess anyone. It won’t be long before she finds another host. Will our two teachers be able to stop her?
After spending the whole month watching Japanese horror movies, I’ve come up with my top ten list:
- Ju-On: The Grudge
- Audition
- Ju-On: The Grudge
- Ju-On: The Grudge
- Ju-On: The Grudge
- Ju-On: The Grudge
- Ju-On: The Grudge
- Ju-On: The Grudge
- Ju-On: The Grudge
- Ring
Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, episode 496, episode 545, episode 546, episode 547, episode 548, episode 549, episode 575, episode 596, episode 597, episode 598, episode 599, episode 642, episode 643, episode 644, and episode 645) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.
The Drunken Odyssey 
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