The assassin of the Banana-man moaned through his helmet as the Revenging Manta dragged him from the destroyed Golden Corral sign. No sooner did I pull up that Edwige hopped on over to the scene. Simmons and I got out of the car and rushed over. The ninja vigilante removed the helmet to reveal a pimply zoomer. Edwige looked ready to pounce and I had to massage her behind her ears to keep her calm. 

“Talk,” the Revenging Manta said as he drew a short knife to the zoomer’s throat. 

Tonight’s movie is 1990’s Tremors from director Ron Underwood. I’m surprised I haven’t covered this motion picture in the many years of writing this blog. I mean if you’re looking for a movie about creatures that snack on humans by pulling them underground, then you’ve hit paydirt with this movie. Plus, it stars Kevin Bacon. And Reba McEntire. And Michael Gross, the dad from Family Ties. Do any of you remember Family Ties? 80s sit-com starring Michael J. Fox as Alex P. Keaton.

Anybody?

Tom Hanks starred as his alcoholic uncle in one episode. 

The heroes of this movie are Val (Kevin Bacon) and Earl (Fred Ward), two local handymen of the small town of Perfection, Nevada. They hate their lives and they hate their jobs and are planning to high tail it out of there to Bixby, but life has other plans. Bizarre deaths are occuring around town. A man named Edgar is found dead high up an electrical tower. He died of thirst and must have stayed up that tower for days in fear of what was waiting for him on the surface. A sheepherder named Fred also gets eaten along with his sheep, his severed head gazing up in terror are all that remains.

After the creatures kill a couple roadside workers and cause an avalanche, blocking the only road out of town. Val (Kevin Bacon) and Earl (Fred Ward) are stuck to contend with these creatures that hunt by tracking the sound of their prey. You can’t outrun them. You can only hope to get to higher ground, someplace they can’t reach you. Other townspeople fighting for survival include Rhonda (Finn Carter), a seismology student, Melvin Plug (Bobby Jacoby), a teenage smartass, Walter Chang (Victor Wong), a scheming convenience store owner, and Burt (Michael Gross) and Heather Gummer (Reba McEntire), two prepping survivalists waiting for World War III. 

The monsters aren’t invincible. While chasing Val and Earl, one of the creatures crashes head first into the concrete wall of an aqueduct. When another busts into the basement of Gummers, they light it up with enough firepower to take on a small army. And that barrage of bullets actually kills the monster. You never see that in these types of movies. I remember getting annoyed with Jurassic Park and the fact that no one managed to so much as shoot at a dinosaur.

Tremors is just clean fun, the kind of movie you watched as a kid thinking you weren’t supposed to be with innocent people getting eaten and all. But our hero handymen win the day. Earl gets the girl.

Reba McEntire sings over the closing credits. 

Tremors is a good time. 

Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, episode 496, episode 545, episode 546, episode 547, episode 548, episode 549, episode 575, episode 596, episode 597, episode 598, episode 599, episode 642, episode 643, episode 644, episode 645, and episode 670) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.