• About
  • Cats Dig Hemingway
  • Guest Bookings
  • John King’s Publications
  • Literary Memes
  • Podcast Episode Guide
  • Store!
  • The Rogue’s Guide to Shakespeare on Film
  • Videos
  • Writing Craft Discussions

The Drunken Odyssey

~ A Podcast About the Writing Life

The Drunken Odyssey

Tag Archives: Charlton Heston

The Rogue’s Guide to Shakespeare on Film #36: Antony and Cleopatra (1972)

14 Sunday Aug 2016

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Shakespeare, The Rogue's Guide to Shakespeare on Film

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Antony and Cleopatra, Charlton Heston, Shakespeare

Rogues Guide to Shakes on Film 2

36. Charlton Heston’s Antony and Cleopatra (1972)

31 Antony and Cleopatra

Antony and Cleopatra is Shakespeare’s continuation of sorts of Caesar. The triumvirate of Roman leaders, Octavius Caesar, Marcus Aemilius Lepidus, and Marc Antony is on the verge of breaking with Marc Antony since he has lapsed in his Roman duties and gone native with lust in Egypt with Cleopatra. Pompey, son of the Roman leader who was deposed by Julius Caesar, is threatening Rome with a triumvirate of his own.

After the debacle of the film of Julius Caesar, Charlton Heston must have been charged up and mightily disappointed.

Caesar didn’t bomb because of him, after all, but because of Jason Robards. As he was nearing 50 years of age, Heston was reaching the far limit of middle age, and wanted another Shakespearean romp, another period piece, another go.

He proved he could be Mark Antony, so why not film Antony and Cleopatra like a sequel to Julius Caesar?

Why not direct the film himself?

Why not adapt the script with someone named Federico De Urrutia?

Antony and Cleopatra Poster

These are not the worst ideas, but Heston overlooked two major things with this film: In A&C, Antony does not have anything like the funeral oration from Caesar, and just as Robards, a capable actor, somehow managed to capsize Caesar, casting the wrong Cleopatra would ruin this new film.

Antony and Cleopatra 5One needs a Cleopatra who can persuade you that Marc Antony is not entirely wrong to cause civil war in Rome, and bring shame to two fine Roman noblewomen, over a single woman who was not his wife. One needs a Cleopatra who is imaginative, erotic, powerful, and mercurial.

For reasons passing understanding, Hildegard Neil played Cleoptra as a hysterical, yet somehow blandly blonde harpy: a bad impression of Elizabeth Taylor, perhaps.

Antony and Cleopatra 2I say this with no joy, as Neil is married to Brian Blessed, who could kill me easily, and frankly if that is how my life ended, I would have no regrets except for the reason for his provocation. Also, Neil spent one season performing with the Royal Shakespeare Company, so perhaps this almost unwatchable performance is connected to whatever mysterious curse befell Jason Robards in Caesar.

Sweet Jebus, there is just so much Cleopatra in Antony and Cleopatra.

Antony and Cleopatra 3

Where was I?

The script has some excellent moments, I must say.

When Marc Antony returns to Rome to meet with Octavius Caesar in Act II, the dialogue takes place in a small arena while two gladiators, providing a bold subtext, battle one another.

Antony and Cleopatra 3When Enobarbus suggests a bacchanal for the peace brokered between Octavius Caesar, Marc Antony, and Pompey, a pantomime of Antony’s relationship to Cleopatra is enacted in dance. Antony himself, drunk, seems to enjoy the spectacle, especially when she falls into Octavius’s lap.

Antony and Cleopatra 10The dancer playing Cleopatra in this play-within-a-play would likely have made a better Cleopatra.

If Robert Vaughn seems to run away with his scenes as Casca in Caesar, Freddie Jones runs away with his scenes as Pompey. (I know him from David Lynch movies, such as The Elephant Man). Character actors seem to frolic well with Shakespeare.

Antony and Cleopatra 9John Castle is both likeable and creepy as the ever even-keeled Octiavius.

Antony and Cleopatra 11Roger Delgado, who looks like Dennis Hopper, is wonderful as the soothsayer.

Antony and Cleopatra 6Oh, right, Charlton Heston is in this thing.

Antony and Cleopatra 6 HestonAs Antony, whose identity is being torn apart by love, Heston is underwhelming, if not actually bad. There’s not much chemistry between him and Neil, obviously.

This looks like a low budget film with some amazing locations, so there is a dreamy quality here. One gets the sense that Egypt and Rome and everyplace else is very far apart, and everyone must be tired in beautiful scenery.

Antony and Cleopatra 12The sea battle scenes late in the film feature a lot of super-impositions, and apparently uses leftover footage from Ben Hur. It’s kind of fun to watch.

Antony and Cleopatra 4Then Marc Antony and Cleopatra argue.

Then the armies fight on land.

And then Antony will wound himself before being captured, and take about five hours of screentime to die. And then Cleopatra kills herself, but not without a metric fuck-ton of squeaky dialogue first.

My friend Don Royster insisted that this movie was so bad that I simply had to watch it.

For all its flaws (like Hildegard Neil, and Hildegard Neil), Charlton Heston’s Antony and Cleopatra is still much better than Baz Luhrman’s Romeo + Juliet, or Michael Almereyda’s Shakespearean botchery.

_______

1flipJohn King (Episode, well, all of them) holds a PhD in English from Purdue University, and an MFA from New York University. He has reviewed performances for Shakespeare Bulletin.

Save

Save

Save

Save

The Curator of Schlock #38: The Order

09 Friday May 2014

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in The Curator of Schlock

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Charlton Heston, Jean Claude Van Damme, The Order

The Curator of Schlock #38 by Jeffrey Shuster

The Order (or, Charlton Heston Gracefully Exits his Career)

Untitled 3

 Guess what? It’s Van Damme month here at The Museum of Schlock. The scuttlebutt around the Internet is that Jean-Claude Van Damme’s career took a nosedive after the poor performance of Street Fighter at the box office back in 1994. Eventually, it was determined by the powers that be that Van Damme was no longer a box office draw. They ceased releasing his movies theatrically, but that didn’t stop him from making movies for the home video market. Yes, today I’ll be reviewing a made-for-video Van Damme movie called The Order that was written by Van Damme himself. My life is hell.

Untitled 1

The Order starts out during the middle ages when crusading knights were trying to seize the city of Jerusalem. There was much killing and maiming going on. A Flemish knight named Charles Le Vaillant (Jean Claude Van Damme) observes the slaughter and determines that killing in the name of God is wrong. He decides to create a new religious order called The Order, which combines the tenants of faith of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. Wow! Why didn’t anybody think of this before? Just make one big religion so people won’t fight with each other anymore! There’s something about Le Vaillant writing down some final prophecy that will shed light on something, but this bit of parchment gets lost when more crusading knights show up. Apparently, crusading knights don’t take too kindly to heretics and they cut Le Vaillant down to size. This scene was narrated by Charlton Heston who speaks to the audience like we’re a bunch of four year-olds. Okay. We’re off to a bad start, but things can improve, right?

Fast forward about thousand years and we’re introduced to Rudy Cafmeyer (Jean Claude Van Damme) who is a master thief and international man of mystery. Rudy manages to steal a Fabergé egg from the Russian mafia, but it ends up getting crushed when his buyer decides to steal it from him instead of paying for it. Whatever. Fabergé eggs were made to be broken. Am I right?

Untitled 2

Anyway, it’s later revealed that Rudy’s dad is a prominent archaeologist who’s discovered a treasure map to the lost treasure of King Solomon. Rudy travels to Jerusalem where he encounters Professor Walt Finley (Charlton Heston). Finley gives him the key to a safety deposit box, there’s a car chase, Finley gets shot in the heart by some bad guys, and there’s no more Charlton Heston for the rest of the movie. What a gyp!

There’s an evil Israeli Police Chief played by Ben Cross who wants to work with evil members of The Order to blow up The Dome of the Rock during Ramadan so The Order can start World War III. There’s a good Israeli police officer played by Sofia Milos who buys Van Damme some fresh hummus. Okay. I’m tired of writing this review. There is a kickboxing scene where Van Damme is disguised as a Hasidic Jew.

Untitled 1

You don’t see that everyday.

Ten Things I Learned from The Order 

  1. Sometimes a sect is really just a cult.
  2. Van Damme’s accent is outrageous and awesome at the same time.
  3. It’s not a proper Van Damme movie until his shirt is ripped off.
  4. Van Damme should start writing Dan Brown style mysteries. He’s got the writing chops.
  5. Ben Cross should really be playing leading men and not villains.
  6. The sound of Van Damme eating hummus will haunt you in your sleep.
  7. Apparently, you can give a star like Charlton Heston top billing when he’s only on screen for five minutes.
  8. King Solomon’s treasure wasn’t as magnificent as I thought it would be.
  9. People should really stop stealing Fabergé eggs. They just end getting broken and then no one can enjoy them.
  10. Made for video Van Damme movies are one of real tragedies of our modern era.

___________

Photo by Leslie Salas.

Jeffrey Shuster (episode 47) is an MFA candidate and instructor at the University of Central Florida.

 

Scribophile, the online writing group for serious writers

Online, shop here:

If you must, shop Amazon and help the show.

Audible.com

Blogs

Not forgotten

Categories

  • 21st Century Bronte
  • A Word from the King
  • Aesthetic Drift
  • animation
  • Anime
  • Art
  • Autobiography
  • AWP
  • Biography
  • Blog Post
  • Bloomsday
  • Buddhism
  • Buzzed Books
  • Cheryl Strayed
  • Children's Literature
  • Christmas
  • Christmas literature
  • Comedy
  • Comic Books
  • Comics Are Trying to Break Your Heart
  • Craft of Fiction Writing
  • Creative Nonfiction
  • David Foster Wallace
  • David James Poissant
  • David Lynch
  • David Sedaris
  • Disney
  • Dispatches from the Funkstown Clarion
  • Doctor Who
  • Drinking
  • Dungeons and Dragons
  • Editing
  • Education
  • Episode
  • Erotic Literature
  • Essay
  • Fan Fiction
  • Fantasy
  • Feminism
  • Film
  • Film Commentary
  • Flash Fiction
  • Florida Literature
  • Francesca Lia Block
  • Functionally Literate
  • Ghost writing
  • Graphic Novels
  • Gutter Space
  • Help me!
  • Heroes Never Rust
  • History
  • Horror
  • Humor
  • Hunter S. Thompson
  • In Boozo Veritas
  • Irish Literature
  • Jack Kerouac
  • James Bond
  • James Joyce
  • Jazz
  • Journalism
  • Kerouac House
  • Kung Fu
  • Like a Geek God
  • Literary Criticism
  • Literary Magazines
  • Literary Prizes
  • Literary rizes
  • Literature of Florida
  • Litlando
  • Live Show
  • Loading the Canon
  • Loose Lips Reading Series
  • Lost Chords & Serenades Divine
  • Magic Realism
  • Mailbag
  • manga
  • McMillan's Codex
  • Memoir
  • Miami Book Fair
  • Michael Caine
  • Military Literature
  • Mixtape
  • Music
  • New York City
  • O, Miami
  • Old Poem Revue
  • On Top of It
  • Pensive Prowler
  • Philosophy
  • Photography
  • Poetry
  • politics
  • Postmodernism
  • Publishing
  • Recommendation
  • Repeal Day
  • science
  • Science Fiction
  • Screenwriting
  • Sexuality
  • Shakespeare
  • Shakespearing
  • Sozzled Scribbler
  • Sports
  • Star Wars
  • Television
  • The Bible
  • The Curator of Schlock
  • The Global Barfly's Companion
  • The Lists
  • The Perfect Life
  • The Pink Fire Revue
  • The Rogue's Guide to Shakespeare on Film
  • Theater
  • There Will Be Words
  • translation
  • Travel Writing
  • Vanessa Blakeslee
  • Versify
  • Video Games
  • Violence
  • Virginia Woolf
  • War
  • Westerns
  • Word From the King
  • Young Adult
  • Your Next Beach Read
  • Zombies

Recent Posts

  • Comics Are Trying to Break Your Heart #182: Walk in Silence
  • The Perfect Life #44
  • Episode 530: Jamie Hecker!
  • Comics Are Trying to Break Your Heart #181: Energized and Anthologized Vol. 4
  • Episode 529: Kathryn Harlan!

Archives

  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • The Drunken Odyssey
    • Join 4,213 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • The Drunken Odyssey
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...