It had been almost five years since I’d left the Museum of Schlock, but with the generosity of the contributors to my GoFundMe campaign for a kangaroo habitat, the Museum of Schlock will be open for business in a couple of weeks. Sure I had other stories to tell like our run in with Edwige’s evil twin, the zombie infestation of the museum of Schlock, and the return of the Goose Lord. But perhaps now, it is time for a return to normalcy. The Carl Weathers statue has been restored, Waldo will be working in our brand new cafeteria (he did not die), and Edwige, my kangaroo companion from my misadventures in North America, shall greet patrons at the door. Her prize fighting days are over. Be sure to check out our brand new Steven Seagal exhibition with special attention to the classic On Deadly Ground.

— The human adventure continues…

This week’s movie is 2026’s War Machine from director Patrick Hughes. It’s a Lionsgate movie that was given a limited theatrical release in Australia before getting tossed onto Netflix. Is this where we are? You used to be able to go down to your local theater to catch action classics such as Commando and Demolition Man, but in 2026, they will become the Netflix movie of the week. And this movie stars Alan Ritchson, TV’s Reacher. I think it deserved better, but who knows. Had Lionsgate gone theatrical, it might have flopped as it’s an original property. 

The movie opens with a man who only goes by Sergeant (Alan Ritchson) helping out his brother’s stalled convoy in Afghanistan when a Taliban attack wipes out everyone, but him. Sergeant had promised his brother that they’d become Army Rangers together, but with his brother dead, he decided to take it on himself. Sergeant enters the grueling training where only the most elite soldier survives, but he’s a solitary man refusing to build friendships with his fellow soldiers. Sergeant Major Sheridan (Dennis Quaid) and First Sergeant Torres (Esai Morales) question his reason for being there and pressure him to quit, but Sergeant won’t hear of it. The other soldiers know he won the silver star in Afghanistan, but don’t understand why he keeps refusing to be their team leader.

Meanwhile, NASA reports that an asteroid is fast approaching the vicinity of Earth. As it gets closer, hunks of it start to break off. Those hunks enter into Earth’s orbit and, in case you couldn’t guess it, it isn’t an asteroid. While Sergeant and the rest of soldiers are deployed to a local mountain range for one last exercise, one of the meteors crashes nearby. Guess what? It isn’t a meteor, but a gigantic robot with one mission: destroy all human life. Seriously, this thing has long range scanners and machine guns and missiles. Even these elite Army Rangers don’t stand a chance against it. 

I know. War Machine is like a cross between Predator and War of the Worlds, but I had fun with it anyway. The alien monstrosity in this movie is a true menace and we’re here to see if Alan Ritchson can outsmart this thing and survive with little resources to combat this thing. Frankly, it makes sense that the alien menaces in our movies would start using drones. You can catch War Machine streaming on Netflix. 

Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, episode 496, episode 545, episode 546, episode 547, episode 548, episode 549, episode 575, episode 596, episode 597, episode 598, episode 599, episode 642, episode 643, episode 644, episode 645, episode 670, episode 686, episode 687,  688, and 689) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.