• About
  • Cats Dig Hemingway
  • Guest Bookings
  • John King’s Publications
  • Literary Memes
  • Podcast Episode Guide
  • Store!
  • The Rogue’s Guide to Shakespeare on Film
  • Videos
  • Writing Craft Discussions

The Drunken Odyssey

~ A Podcast About the Writing Life

The Drunken Odyssey

Tag Archives: Magic

The Curator of Schlock #124: Magic

15 Friday Apr 2016

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in The Curator of Schlock

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Anthony Hopkins, Burgess Meredith, Magic

The Curator of Schlock #124 by Jeff Shuster

Magic

(Written for the screen by William Golding from the novel by William Golding. Oh wait! That’s William Goldman.)

Okay. You’re Curator of Schlock has a confession to make. I’m afraid of dolls. I’m not talking about Barbies or Cabbage Patch Kids, but those creepy porcelain things they used to give out to kids during the 1800s, the kind if you stare at them long enough, they stare back at you, the kind that rummage around in your attic when your trying to sleep. But the worst are the ventriloquist dummies because they have the tendency to KILL KILL KILL!

Magic1

Case in point, 1979’s Magic from director Richard Attenborough (the old man in Jurassic Park) and starring Sir Anthony Hopkins as Charles “Corky” Withers. Corky is a squirrely little man who does card tricks for nightclub audiences, boring them to tears before screaming at them for ignoring his pathetic act. A year later, he pops back on the nightclub scene with a ventriloquist dummy named Fats and the crowd goes wild. Corky gets himself a talent agent by the name of Ben Greene (Burgess Meredith, obviously) and pretty soon he’s being booked on the Tonight Show and there’s even interest in developing a television pilot starring him and Fats.

Magic4

The trouble is the network needs him to go in for a medical exam before they can commence filming. Corky flips out and pays a cabbie to drive him out to the Catskills where he grew up. He books a room at Bed & Breakfast run by his high school crush, Peggy (Ann-Margret). One thing leads to another, and Corky and Peggy end up having a torrid affair. Peggy’s married ,so that may cause some issues when her husband gets back, but Corky has more important things to worry about.

Magic2

First, he gets into raging argument with Fats about when they’re going back to New York City. Ben Greene shows up at the cabin during their blow up and becomes concerned that Corky is losing his mind. He gives Corky an ultimatum: don’t operate Fats for five minutes or he’s getting the doctors from the funny farm. Corky makes it to four minutes before shoving his hand up Fats.

Magic3

His agent leaves to notify the authorities and Fats orders Corky to beat Ben Greene to death with him. I guess ventriloquist dummies make for swell murder weapons. Later that night, Corky tries to submerge the body of his agent in the middle of a lake, but Ben Greene regains consciousness so Corky now has to drown him. 

Peggy’s husband, Duke (Ed Lauter) shows up the next morning and Corky has to play it cool so Duke doesn’t suspect that he’s sleeping with his wife and murdering talent agents on his property. Do any of you think this is going to end well?

Magic5

Magic is a profound cautionary tale.

Five Things I Learned from Magic

  1. It is disconcerting to hear Burgess Meredith use the F word.
  2. Ventriloquist dummies make the best wingmen.
  3. If you’re going to murder your talent agent and dispose of the body, dispose of his Rolls Royce too. 
  4. Asparagus tips > French-cut green beans.
  5. Wood puns + sex jokes = comedy gold.

_______

Jeffrey Shuster 3

Photo by Leslie Salas.

Jeffrey Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, and episode 131) is an MFA candidate at the University of Central Florida.

Scribophile, the online writing group for serious writers

Online, shop here:

If you must, shop Amazon and help the show.

Audible.com

Blogs

Not forgotten

Categories

  • 21st Century Bronte
  • A Word from the King
  • Aesthetic Drift
  • animation
  • Anime
  • Art
  • Autobiography
  • AWP
  • Biography
  • Blog Post
  • Bloomsday
  • Buddhism
  • Buzzed Books
  • Cheryl Strayed
  • Children's Literature
  • Christmas
  • Christmas literature
  • Comedy
  • Comic Books
  • Comics Are Trying to Break Your Heart
  • Craft of Fiction Writing
  • Creative Nonfiction
  • David Foster Wallace
  • David James Poissant
  • David Lynch
  • David Sedaris
  • Disney
  • Dispatches from the Funkstown Clarion
  • Doctor Who
  • Drinking
  • Dungeons and Dragons
  • Editing
  • Education
  • Episode
  • Erotic Literature
  • Essay
  • Fan Fiction
  • Fantasy
  • Feminism
  • Film
  • Film Commentary
  • Flash Fiction
  • Florida Literature
  • Francesca Lia Block
  • Functionally Literate
  • Ghost writing
  • Graphic Novels
  • Gutter Space
  • Help me!
  • Heroes Never Rust
  • History
  • Horror
  • Humor
  • Hunter S. Thompson
  • In Boozo Veritas
  • Irish Literature
  • Jack Kerouac
  • James Bond
  • James Joyce
  • Jazz
  • Journalism
  • Kerouac House
  • Kung Fu
  • Like a Geek God
  • Literary Criticism
  • Literary Magazines
  • Literary Prizes
  • Literary rizes
  • Literature of Florida
  • Litlando
  • Live Show
  • Loading the Canon
  • Loose Lips Reading Series
  • Lost Chords & Serenades Divine
  • Magic Realism
  • Mailbag
  • manga
  • McMillan's Codex
  • Memoir
  • Miami Book Fair
  • Michael Caine
  • Military Literature
  • Mixtape
  • Music
  • New York City
  • O, Miami
  • Old Poem Revue
  • On Top of It
  • Pensive Prowler
  • Philosophy
  • Photography
  • Poetry
  • politics
  • Postmodernism
  • Publishing
  • Recommendation
  • Repeal Day
  • science
  • Science Fiction
  • Screenwriting
  • Sexuality
  • Shakespeare
  • Shakespearing
  • Sozzled Scribbler
  • Sports
  • Star Wars
  • Television
  • The Bible
  • The Curator of Schlock
  • The Global Barfly's Companion
  • The Lists
  • The Perfect Life
  • The Pink Fire Revue
  • The Rogue's Guide to Shakespeare on Film
  • Theater
  • There Will Be Words
  • translation
  • Travel Writing
  • Vanessa Blakeslee
  • Versify
  • Video Games
  • Violence
  • Virginia Woolf
  • War
  • Westerns
  • Word From the King
  • Young Adult
  • Your Next Beach Read
  • Zombies

Recent Posts

  • Comics Are Trying to Break Your Heart #175
  • Episode 523: Aaron Angello!
  • The Curator of Schlock #381: The Driver
  • Comics Are Trying to Break Your Heart #174: Reaping Benefits
  • The Perfect Life #40: Allergic to Love

Archives

  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • The Drunken Odyssey
    • Join 3,107 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • The Drunken Odyssey
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...