The Lists #3 by Dan Lauer

Likely Kanye West Masturbatory Fantasies

1. That blonde girl. The singer. He can’t remember her name. But just before he finishes she interrupts, but keeps promising she’ll let him finish.
2. A pornographic parody of A Room With A View starring the original cast of Night Court. Particularly John Larroquette.
3. The fundamental historical differences between Romans and Greeks.
4. Perfectly buttered croissants. Yeah, just like that.
5. He’s the world’s best astrophysicist. At least he would be, if THEY weren’t holding him back. Also, there are tits everywhere.
6. Jim Jones’s final, glorious moments on Earth.
7. Watching self, watching self, watching self masturbate. While masturbating.

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Dan Lauer (Episode 63, Episode 71, Episode 75, Episode 81, and Episode 93) is without academic achievements of any stripe worth mentioning. He makes his living as a technical writer. He drinks Scotch whiskey exclusively.