The Curator of Schlock #314 by Jeff Shuster
Vegas, Baby, Vegas.
I wish a belated Happy St. Patrick’s Day to one and all. I hope you all had a good time feasting corned beef and cabbage, maybe a pint of Guinness. I stayed in due to that worldwide pandemic that’s got everyone freaked out. I even closed up the Museum of Schlock and will be blogging from a remote location in the Florida Everglades. I just hope that thieves don’t ransack the Nightmare City display. Those sports coats from the movie set me back six figures.
Tonight’s movie is 1995’s Leprechaun 3, which is also known as Leprechaun 3: In Las Vegas. This makes sense as the movie takes place in Las Vegas. Brian Medwin Trenchard-Smith serves as director this time around, and Warwick Davis returns as Lubdan the Leprechaun. I didn’t know this character had a name. Granted, I’m no Leprechaun expert, but I imagine this series of movies has its devotees much like the Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street movies. I can’t imagine anything in this world sadder than Leprechaun fandom. They probably flipped out over the WWE Studios remake that completely negated the canon.
The movie begins with a stone statue of Lubdan getting sold for twenty bucks to Gupta (Marcelo Tubert), an Indian pawnshop owner in Las Vegas. Gupta is warned not to remove the magic medallion around his neck. Naturally, Gupta removes the charm and before you know, Lubdan is snacking on his ear remarking, “I love Indian food.” Gupta manages to ward him off with the charm. Lubdan runs away with his pot of gold coins, but leaves one behind. Now this is interesting. Gupta finds a CD-ROM on World Folklore and researches all he can on leprechauns. For instance, leprechauns love potatoes, but can’t stand the presence of another leprechaun. Also, you can wish for anything you want if you make the wish while holding a leprechaun’s gold coin.
What’s a CD-ROM? Well, before the Internet became the sole source of all knowledge and wisdom in modern society, human beings used to store information on these interactive CDs they’d slip into CD drives on their personal computers. They contained fancy graphic and sound, sometimes even little mini games. Will Smith sung about a 101 Dalmatians CD-ROM that he bought for his son in his 1997 hit song, “Just the Two of Us.” I hope I gave you younglings some valuable history.
Back to the movie. Uhhhh. There’s a scene of Lubdan the Leprechaun running into an Elvis impersonator, or maybe Elvis himself? Lubdan actually digs Elvis’s threads and Elvis digs Lubdan’s threads. Elvis even compliments Lubdan’s pointy boots and wonders if they come in blue suede. It’s actually a cordial meeting and it’s nice to see Lubdan not try and take a bite out of Elvis. See, we can be civil.
I remember that Big Trouble in Little China movie. Lo Pan is described as “The Ultimate Evil Spirit,” but I think Lubdan could give him a run for his money. In fact, I’d like to see a Big Trouble in Little Ireland movie, get to see Jack Burton versus the evil leprechaun. Of course, I also want to see Chucky vs. Leprechaun. And how about TRON 3 already! Why aren’t I running Hollywood?