The Curator of Schlock #392 by Jeff Shuster

Naked Girl Killed in the Park

Was she killed by the house on the edge of the park?

One doesn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Yes, I’m glad a crazed vigilante known as the Revenging Manta saved me from being beaten to death by a bunch of hooligans. Still, I was a little annoyed I had to foot the bill at the Waffle House. Why couldn’t we go dutch? He said ninjas don’t carry their wallets with them. That’s a load of bull. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but it’s not like I’m floating in cash either after traveling all around the United States and Canada with a kangaroo to take care of. — To be continued.

This week’s giallo masterpiece is 1972’s Naked Girl Killed in the Park from director Alfonso Brescia. This movie also goes by the title Girl Murdered in the Park. That’s what it’s called on Tubi anyway. The top review on the IMBD labels it as an “uninspiring and boring Giallo.” I don’t know. Giallo is like pizza. Even when it’s bad, it’s kind of good. Be forewarned though, the English dub track is badly in need of a remaster. You’ll be struggling to make out what the characters are saying around the hisses, pops, and static.

Our movie begins during the bombing of Berlin toward the end of WW2. A mother and her son are tied up while a Nazi officer rigs a plastic explosive with a timer. A young woman is with him who may be his girlfriend. She almost wants to interfere, but the man takes her with him, leaving the mother and son to a horrible fate. Fast forward to a 1972 Germany where an old man is found exiting a funhouse ride with a bullet in his head. 

The man is Johannes Wanterberger, a wealthy German business man fled to Brazil after the war due to him being a Nazi.  He returned to Germany after he had made his fortune with his lovely wife and two daughters. It also seems that Johannes took out a one millions dollar life insurance policy a couple of hours before he was murdered. The insurance company sends one of their investigators, a handsome young man named Chris Buyer (Robert Hoffman), to investigate the family for foul play. 

This sounds like the plot of last week’s movie, The Case of the Scorpion’s Tail. As I watched, I wondered if the murderer would turn out to be the insurance investigator like in last week’s movie. Crap! Spoilers! Sorry! Anyway, Chris poses as a newspaper reporter and seduces Catherine (Pilar Velázquez), the youngest member of the Wanterberger clan. She’s beautiful, but has a weak heart. Unlike her sister, Barbara (Patrizia Adiutori), who is a constant flirt with Chris. I think the mom also makes a pass at him.

Anyway, it turns out Chris is young boy from the Berlin bombing scene at the beginning of the movie. Chris is the illegitimate son of Johannes Wantenberger. His mom must have shielded him from the blast of that plastic explosive and he’s been planning revenge on Johannes Wanternberger all his life. This means that part of his revenge meant sleeping with Wanternberger’s daughters. This means Chris had sex with his half-sisters. I think I’ll stop writing now.

Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, and episode 496) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.