I heard a dog howl. And then another dog howled. And then many dogs howled. Edwige awoke, rattled from the noise. 

“Those aren’t dogs,” the Revenging Manta whispered in my ear. I looked in the rearview window and saw dozens if not hundreds of bandana wearing goons as far as I could see. The Goose Lord’s gang knew we were here and we were sorely outnumbered.

— To be continued. 

Happy Halloween to all of you Halloweenies out there. Tonight’s movie is 1980’s City of the Living Dead from director Lucio Fulci. This one takes place around Halloween time so I felt it was appropriate, but seeing as how there’s so much going on in this movie I’d figure I’d share with you the highlights. 

Teleporting Zombies

The zombies in City of the Living Dead can teleport right in front of you or right behind you. Yes, indeed. Why? Because of a curse that crept over the town of Dunwich when a priest named Father Thomas (Fabrizio Jovine) decided to hang himself in a cemetery and open one of the seven gates of hell. Anyway, do you know what happens when one of these zombies teleports near you? They grab the back of your skull, cracking it like an egg and smushing your brain through their fingers. Truly disgusting and that’s not even the worst of it. 

Smothered to Death with Worms

In addition to other zombies, there’s a head zombie in the form of Father Thomas. When he appears, you’d better watch out. This poor girl named Emily (Antonella Interlenghi) falls prey to him. How does she die? Zombie Father Thomas has a bunch of crap and wriggling worms on his hand. He shoves his palm into her face. Poor Emily dies, but don’t worry. She comes back as a hell zombie to terrorize her grieving family. 

Upchucking Your Intestinal Track

Rosie (Daniela Doria) and her boyfriend, Tommy (Michele Soavi), are necking in a secluded spot. Zombie Father Thomas appears to spoil the mood. Rosie screams and then begins to bleed from her eyeballs. Then she bleeds from her mouth. Foam and bile begin to spill from her mouth. Then fleshy tendrils begin to burst from her mouth and before you know it, Rosie’s entire intestinal tract is flying past her lips and spilling out onto the floor of the car. I think the stomach is the last organ to spill out. Zombie Father Thomas then explodes Tommy’s brain out of his skull for good measure.

Drill Through Your Skull

Bob (Giovanni Lombardo Radice) is the town pervert. All the fathers in the town hate him and warn their daughters about going near Bob. They blame Bob for all the murders happening around town. Bob keeps seeing Zombie Father Thomas, but manages to avoid him.

While trying to catch some sleep in the garage of a Mr. Ross (Venantino Venantini), he gets awoken by Mr. Ross’s teenage daughter who offers Bob a hit of her joint. Unfortunately, for Bob, Mr. Ross finds them and figures Bob is taking advantage of his daughter. And then Mr. Ross impales Bob’s head into a spinning drill in her workbench. I’m not sure what this scene has to do with the machinations of Zombie Father Thomas, but if you ever wanted to see a drill go through one side of a pervert’s face into the other side then you’ve hit pay dirt with City of the Living Dead.

In Conclusion

There are other horrors in this movie like a shower of maggots and people getting buried alive. If you’re a gorehound, you will consider this a masterpiece. It’s like a cinematic equivalent of a haunted house attraction.

Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, episode 496, episode 545, episode 546, episode 547, episode 548, episode 549, episode 575, episode 596, episode 597, episode 598, episode 599, episode 642, episode 643, episode 644, episode 645, episode 670, episode 686, episode 687,  688, and 689) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.