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The Drunken Odyssey

~ A Podcast About the Writing Life

The Drunken Odyssey

Category Archives: Erotic Literature

Episode 431: TDO After Hours #1, with Vanessa Blakeslee

01 Saturday Aug 2020

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Episode, Erotic Literature, Sexuality

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Episode 431 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on Apple podcasts, stitcher, spotify, or click here to stream (right click to download, if that’s your thing).

Episode 431.2 Ad

In this week’s show, Vanessa Blakeslee and I discuss two online pieces on the subject of sex writing, and the conversation roves from there.

TEXTS DISCUSSED

Lorin Stein’s “Why Write About Sex?” in The Paris Review.

J.T. Ellison’s “Don’t Be Shy: How to Write Effective Sex Scenes.”

Vanessa Blakeslee’s “The Fetish” in The Paris Review.

“Another Saturday Night with Mr. Fun” can be found in this anthology.

Condoms & Hot Tubs

NOTES

This episode is sponsored by the excellent people at Scribophile.

Scribophile

TDO Listeners can get 20% of a premium subscription to Scribophile. After using the above link to register for a basic account, go here while still logged in to upgrade the account with the discount.

Visit Vanessa’s website to learn more about her work.

Check out my literary adventure novel, Guy Psycho and the Ziggurat of Shame.


Episode 431 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on Apple podcasts, stitcher, spotify, or click here to stream (right click to download, if that’s your thing).

Pensive Prowler #25: The Algorithm That Ate the Dick Pic

19 Monday Nov 2018

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Erotic Literature, Pensive Prowler

≈ Leave a comment

Pensive Prowler #25 by Dmetri Kakmi

The Algorithm That Ate the Dick Pic

It all started with a dick pic. This one to be precise.

The Big Penis Book

It’s the cover for Taschen’s The Big Penis Book. I posted it in response to a friend’s Facebook post—from here on referred to as Facepalm Booklet.

The friend wanted to know which book I’d put in his ideal library and, feeling rather wicked, I posted the pic that brought about my demise. Within seconds—20 to be precise— a message popped up, telling me I’ve been excommunicated for 30 days for contravening ‘community standards’.

I was shocked. Outraged. I objected. But my objections fell on deaf auto responses.

It appears the ‘community’ of more than 100 million people who use Facepalm Booklet daily were outraged by my untoward behavior. Because, you see, they have incredibly high ‘standards’ in their dealings with their ‘friends’. They neither see, nor hear, nor speak evil. And I most certainly don’t meet the benchmark.

The sheer hypocrisy bugs me. It’s acceptable to post misogynist, racist, homophobic, bigoted bilge. It’s okay for people to attack each other in the most vile, personal terms. But it’s not okay to post pictures of nudity, unless it’s art or educational.

This raises the question of who decides what constitutes these abstract and highly contestable nouns and adjectives? And why is the elevation of mind and soul placed above carnality? Which mental at Facepalm Booklet’s Mentlo Park headquarters decides? (Don’t get me started on the name of the street, Hacker Way.)

I’d argue the Taschen cover is art. Possibly even highly instructional. In the right hands.

Certainly, Hindus see it my way. Sex, for them, is a gateway to spiritual elevation. That’s why their temples are plastered with vivid orgiastic scenes of contorted bodies doing it every which way but loose. I bet they’re very loose after they’ve tried all the positions in the Kama Sutra.

Bizarrely, female nipples are not allowed on Facepalm Booklet. Male nipples are. This, of course, means that the people who make the rules haven’t sexualized the latter in the manner of the former. Which in turn implies the rules are made largely by men. A male nipple is of no sexual interest to a heterosexual man. But it is for a heterosexual woman, as it is for a homosexual man.

There are countries in which the sight of a woman’s ankle or the back of her neck is a daring come-on. Men in certain religious communities in North America are driven wild by a woman’s elbow. The revelation of a single strand of female hair can enflame a man’s passions in countries where the burka is obligatory for a woman. Does Facepalm Booklet censor these body parts as well?

What rails is this. The picture I posted does not contain nudity. It’s an image of a tumescent male member, tilting wildly to the left, encumbered by straining white briefs. You don’t see anything. It’s left to the imagination. Though I must say the special 3D cover will poke out your eye, if you dare to put on the glasses that come with it.

Far as I know, no one complained about the picture I posted because no one saw it. An algorithm, that invisible, electronic nemesis of our online prowling, tracked it down, deleted the dick pic that wasn’t a dick pic, and hoisted me out with a slap on the wrist. That’s the same algorithm that happily mines our data for marketing purposes—happy to sell you crap you don’t need, but don’t get too big for the cheap boots we sold you via Masorini.con.

In retaliation, I got rid of the Faceslap Booklet and the Messenger apps from my phone and iPad, and logged out on the desktop. No social media for a month. Great. I can work without distractions. And instead of checking my feed, I can read, watch a movie, go for a walk…

As Friar Lawrence says in Romeo and Juliet, ‘Hence from Facebook you are banished. Be patient for the world is broad and wide.’

In the first week I was doing quite well, actually, with only the very slightest withdrawal symptoms. Until the emails started to arrive.

Now that I’ve been kicked out, Faceslap Booklet is keen to draw me in again. It keeps asking if I’ve seen so and so’s comments on so and so’s post. Hey, look, so and so has posted on a group you follow. You’re tagged in such and such post. We care about you and your memories.

Sure, you do. You care about the marketing potential I represent, more like.

I’ve not received these notices before. They started coming when I turned my back on the great weevil.

My attitude is: who cares, bitch? You banned me for nothing. You made it so I can see but not reply. You pushed me to the outer limits, rendered me invisible, like a ghost, able to observe but not take part. And now you want me to come see the fun everyone is having at the party to which I am not invited? Hell, no. Sounds like you need me more than I need you. I ain’t no Romeo who thinks to be banished from Facebook is to be banished from the world.

Now excuse me, I’m going to play with my Taschen 3D cover.


Dmetri with Hat

Dmetri Kakmi (Episode 158) is a writer and editor based in Melbourne, Australia. The memoir Mother Land was shortlisted for the New South Wales Premier’s Literary Awards in Australia; and is published in England and Turkey. His essays and short stories appear in anthologies and journals. You can find out more about him here.

Episode 318: Condoms & Hot Tubs Don’t Mix!

09 Saturday Jun 2018

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Episode, Erotic Literature, Live Show

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Condoms and Hot Tubs Don't Mix

Episode 318 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on iTunes, or right click here to download.

Condoms & Hot Tubs Table

Photo by Katherine J. Parker

On this week’s show, I present the readings from the book release party for Condoms and Hot Tubs Don’t Mix.

Condoms & Hot Tubs Readers

Photo by Katherine J. Parker

TEXT DISCUSSED

Condoms & Hot Tubs


Episode 318 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on iTunes, or right click here to download.

Episode 246: Erotic Poetry Night V (Smut, Actually)!

11 Saturday Feb 2017

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Episode, Erotic Literature, Poetry

≈ Leave a comment

Episode 246 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on iTunes, or right click here to download.

erotic-poetry-night-5

This week features our 5th annual Erotic Poetry Night, featuring…

  • Naomi Butterfield
  • Ephraim Scott Sommers
  • Diane Turgeon Richardson
  • Wilson Santos
  • Stephanie Rizzo
  • Brian Downes
  • Rachel Kolman
  • Lisa Roney
  • Madison Strake Bernath
  • & your host, John King.
erotic-poetry-night-6
erotic-poetry-night-5
erotic-poetry-night-4
erotic-poetry-night-7
erotic-poetry-night-3
erotic-poetry-night-2
erotic-poetry-night-1

Episode 246 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on iTunes, or right click here to download.

Episode 192: Erotic Poetry Night IV

12 Friday Feb 2016

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Episode, Erotic Literature, Poetry

≈ 11 Comments

Episode 192 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on iTunes, or right click here to download.

Erotic Poetry Night IV

This week features our 4th annual Erotic Poetry Night, featuring Jesse Bradley, Teege Braune, Stephanie Rizzo, Danielle Kessinger, Amy Watkins, David James Poissant, Ashley Inguanta, Sarah Viren, and (ahem) John King.

Amy_7
Erotic Poetry Night 4 Ashley Inguanta
Erotic Poetry Night 4 Sarah Viren
Erotic Poetry Night 4 John
Erotic Poetry Night 4 David James Poissant
Erotic Poetry Night 4 Stephanie Rizzo
Erotic Poetry Night 4 Jesse
Erotic Poetry Night 4 Danielle
Erotic Poetry Night 4 Teege Braune

NOTES

Litlando-Poster

Get tickets for Litlando here.


Episode 192 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on iTunes, or right click here to download.

On Top of It #15: Freelance Growing Pains

01 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Erotic Literature, Ghost writing, On Top of It

≈ 1 Comment

On Top of It #15 by Lisa Martens

Freelance Growing Pains

I now have two jobs, neither of which really have to do with creative writing—I do customer support for a dating site, and manage reservations for a belly dancing school. I’ve seen lots of dick pics and shimmies.

While in grad school, I attempted freelance writing work to support myself. It worked about as well as milking a turnip with a magnet. Here is what I learned about trying to charge for writing:

Even if you have a Masters, people expect you to work for free.

No one expects you to work in a fast food restaurant for free. No one expects someone to cut their lawn for “experience.” They may pay shit, but they know they have to pay something. Not so with writing. I was offered “exposure” and “the potential for future work.” Yay?

Fight for your writing. Ask for some money upfront, and, if the work is long or time-consuming, hand over most of it and withhold some until you get your final payment. Let clients go if they’re not willing to pay you. Those aren’t clients. They’re moochers.

Will you lose opportunities? They may want you to think that, but think about how much sludge and content is on the Internet. You creating someone’s content for free is not going to be your golden ticket. Working for free is an opportunity for them, not you. Also, every person I let go for not paying me eventually came back offering money.

There’s a lot of money in ghostwriting Literotica.

If you don’t mind slapping another name on your work, you can make a pretty penny. I tried; I really tried. But when the proposal was to write a series about a woman sitting on faces in public, I couldn’t help but laugh. I couldn’t write about that and take it seriously. The story would be laden with farts.

If you can suck it up, or even enjoy it, then do it.

Make templates for SEO-style corporate blog posts.

When creating shitty listicles and blog posts for corporations, it helps to have a template that you just drop buzz words and random facts from the Internet into. It saves you time and gives a kind of uniformity to your content. It’s not good or innovative writing, but if you think about it, how often do you read “24 Child Stars Who Are Ugly Now” and expect an innovative style?

Don’t spend too much time on it.

Do not spend two hours on a 300-word blog post. Do not overthink. Do not put five hours of work into something you’re getting $10 to do. Always do the math and make sure you’re making at least minimum wage. If you’re not, then you either have to charge more, or make better use of your time.

Minimum wage is the ruler I used to use. If you’re making less than that, what the hell is the point of what you’re doing? Go apply to Starbucks.

Niches are nice.

When working freelance, a lot of work is one and done. This means you have to be strategic in your portfolio and build up your own niche. No one is going to promote you or offer you more money. You have to show that you deserve more money. So instead of applying for every low-paying gig under the sun, start with your niche and search for work related to it. You can build a name for yourself as the SEO monster, the Amazon indie literotica mogul, or the celebrity list-creator. But not all of the above.

Give up and get a remote full time job.

This is what I did. My job lets me work anywhere where there’s Internet access, which was the main reason why I wanted to do freelance. I set my own hours now and work from a number of coffee houses, buses and trains. For me, the whole appeal of freelance was not having to go somewhere at a set time, and have more free time to pursue my writing and other hobbies (belly dancing).

Has anyone here done freelance work? What have you learned and how has it gone?

_______

Lisa Martens

Lisa Martens (Episode 22) currently lives in Harlem. In her past 10 years in New York, she has lived in a garage on Long Island, a living room in Hell’s Kitchen, the architecture building of CCNY, and on the couch of a startup. She grew up in New York, Costa Rica and Texas, and she’s still not sure which of these is home. She completed her MFA in Creative Writing from CCNY. Her thesis, What Grows in Heavy Rain, is available on Amazon. Check out her website here. Follow her on Instagram here.

Heroes Never Rust #85: Watchmen & Sex

18 Wednesday Mar 2015

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Erotic Literature, Heroes Never Rust

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Alan Moore, Heroes Never Rust, sean ironman, Watchmen

Heroes Never Rust #85 by Sean Ironman

Watchmen: Sex

A great deal occurs in the third issue of Watchmen. Laurie and Dan get their taste for superheroics reinvigorated when they are jumped in an alley. Doctor Manhattan is confronted on television for allegedly giving cancer to people around him due to his super powers. He leaves Earth for Mars. Rorschach continues with his theory that someone is trying to plot against the superheroes. But, the scene that sticks out to me as the most interesting is Doctor Manhattan’s sex scene with Laurie toward the beginning.

Chapter03The scene opens with Doctor Manhattan’s blue hands touching Laurie’s face. Then, a third hand appears. Freaked out, Laurie screams and the sex stops. Two Doctor Manhattans are in bed with her. When she goes to another room in their house, she spots a third Doctor Manhattan in some sort of a lab—his office, I presume. Laurie, upset that her boyfriend thinks so little of loving her that he duplicates himself so that he can continue his work, storms out. It’s a short scene, only two pages, but it’s a vital one that helps develop both characters and moves the plot along, giving Doctor Manhattan no reason to remain on Earth after Laurie leaves him.

Sex can be difficult for some readers to get through in a story. It’s not for me (as a writer or a reader) so sometimes I’m confused by certain readers’ responses to stories featuring sex. I can understand when readers feel sex scenes are gratuitous, and I feel the same in certain works, True Blood, for example. But, gratuitous can go for any type of scene. A conversation can be gratuitous. A gratuitous scene goes overboard long after the scene accomplishes what it was meant to accomplish for the story. If a conversation goes on too long, then it is gratuitous. The same with an action scene. Any scene. Of course, there are gratuitous sex scenes. But, just because sex is present doesn’t meant the scene is gratuitous.

WatchmenSex1First, there is little nudity in the sex scene in issue three. Laurie pulls the covers up. The reader knows she is naked, but showing her breasts would be gratuitous here. Readers are shown Doctor Manhattan’s ass, but he spends the majority of Watchmen nude, so that doesn’t really count. The scene is shown knowing full well that most people view sex as an intimate act. It’s personal. And because most readers would agree with that idea, the scene works well. Doctor Manhattan has become so distant from his humanity that he cannot even be present when making love to his girlfriend. If readers did not view sex as a personal and private act, they might very well agree with Doctor Manhattan as Laurie complains and storms out. Instead, readers are able to understand that Doctor Manhattan has become less interested in human acts. He would rather stick to his experiments. During the argument, Laurie throws a beaker filled with some sort of liquid at Doctor Manhattan. It smashes on the counter, spilling its contents. As one Doctor Manhattan tells Laurie he is prepared to discuss why she is angry, another duplicate fixes the mess and recreates the beaker and liquid. Even as he is fighting with girlfriend, his mind is really on his experiment.

WatchmenSex2Second, the sex portion of this scene is only in three panels (four if you count the larger panel of Laurie pulling away from the two Doctor Manhattans). Twelve panels show the argument and Laurie storming out. The sex is not the important aspect of the scene. (When are the physical actions of a scene the most important aspect? Most of the time it’s the mental or emotional responses of the characters.) The sex is presented to get to Laurie storming out. She can only stand so much of Doctor Manhattan not caring. In an act as intimate as sex, she needs him to care. To want to be there with her in the moment. The sex that is shown is only a close-up of Doctor Manhattan’s hands on Laurie’s face. It’s enough to have the reader understand what is going on, but that’s where the sex ends. Once a reader understands the choreography of a scene, the scene can focus on character development, show reflection, or show internal thoughts. Beyond that, a scene can become gratuitous.

Watchmen is a book for adults. In my opinion, if one is writing for an adult audience, nothing is off limits. Adults can handle it. If they can’t, then they need to take a look at their life. Hiding away from what’s in the world is not in the interest of art. At some point in the creative process, a writer must consider their audience. I don’t mean pandering to their audience. But, a writer should ask himself or herself who they are writing toward. I read Watchmen the first time when I was eighteen. Perhaps I could have read it a couple of years younger, but to truly appreciate it, readers must be mature. If I read Watchmen back when I was only reading X-Men comics and discussing them with neighborhood friends in my parents’ driveway, I would have hated it. Including sex in adult stories is not a necessity, but it does allow a writer to connect to readers and to get readers to think about an idea in a different way. I spent my childhood reading superhero comics, and when I read Watchmen, I finally understood what it would mean to have superpowers. Watchmen places superheroes in the real world—the comic makes them relatable. We have sex, and so do the superheroes.

_______

Photo by John King

Photo by John King

Sean Ironman (Episode 102) earned his MFA at the University of Central Florida. Currently, he teaches creative nonfiction and digital media at the University of Central Arkansas as a visiting professor. His work can be read in The Writer’s Chronicle, Redivider, and Breakers: A Comics Anthology, among others.

Episode 139: Erotic Poetry Night III

13 Friday Feb 2015

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Episode, Erotic Literature, Poetry

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Anna King, Danielle Kessinger, Erica Dawson, Erotic Poetry, Genevieve Anna Tyrrell, Stigma Tattoo Bar, Teege Braune, The Drunken Odyssey

Episode 139 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on iTunes, or right click here to download.

This week features our third annual Erotic Poetry Night,

Erotic Poetry Nightwith moi and The Drunken Odyssey All-Stars:

Danielle Kessinger

Teege Braune

Genevieve Anna Tyrrell

Anna King

Erica Dawson.

Many thanks to our most excellent venue,

stigma&  special thanks to our friends at…

NOTES

Check out Wilson Santos’ Dominican Republic project, including how to donate, here.

Check out Orlando Shakes’ wonderfully colorful production of Merry Wives, which runs from February 4 to March 7, 2015.

MW_6_lr

Photo by Tony Firriolo.

_______

Episode 139 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on iTunes, or right click here to download.

Episode 85: Erotic Poetry Night 2

13 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in Episode, Erotic Literature, Poetry

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Creative Writing, Episode, Erotic Poetry, Erotic Prose, Jesse Bradley, John King, Michael Pierre, Naomi Butterfield, Rachel Kolman, Susan Lilley, Valentine's Day, Writing Podcast

Episode 85 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on iTunes, or right click here to download.

This week, I present our first live show of the year, from our night of Erotic Poetry, as either a prelude or an antidote to Valentine’s Day, according to taste.

Erotic Poetry Night 2014

NOTES

The Heaven of Animals, the forthcoming collection from friend-of-the-show David James Poissant, is available for pre-order. Please support the launch of his book, which is wonderful reading.

The Heaven of Animals

Episode 85 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on iTunes, or right click here to download.

Episode 71: Mailbag Episode 3 (The Guermantes Way)

19 Saturday Oct 2013

Posted by thedrunkenodyssey in David James Poissant, Drinking, Episode, Erotic Literature

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Dan Lauer, David James Poissant

Episode 71 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on iTunes, or right click here to download.

On this week’s show, I answer some mail with my friend, David James Poissant,

David James Poissant

Plus Dan Lauer writes about a unique book that changed his life.

Dan Lauer

 NOTES
R.I.P., Oscar Hijuelos.
The Heaven of Animals, the forthcoming collection from friend-of-the-show David James Poissant, is available for pre-order. Please support the launch of his book, which is remarkable fucking reading.

The Heaven of Animals

Orlando Shakespeare Theater presents Dracula: The Journal of Jonathan Harker, from October 9 – November 10, 2013.

Dracula

Episode 71 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on iTunes, or right click here to download.

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