The Curator of Schlock
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The Curator of Schlock #38: The Order
The Curator of Schlock #38 by Jeffrey Shuster The Order (or, Charlton Heston Gracefully Exits his Career) Guess what? It’s Van Damme month here at The Museum of Schlock. The scuttlebutt around the Internet is that Jean-Claude Van Damme’s career took a nosedive after the poor performance of Street Fighter at the box office back in… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #37: Street Fighter
The Curator of Schlock #37 by Jeffrey Shuster Street Fighter: Yes, It’s as Bad as You Remember Street Fighter. Oh boy. Part of the problem with this movie is that has too many characters. It’s like the director was trying to give each fighter from Street Fighter II equal screen time. As such, I can’ figure… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #36: DOA
The Curator of Schlock #36 by Jeffrey Shuster DOA: Dead or Alive Ninja Ninja Ninja I remember an episode of Kung Fu The Legend Continues where the bad guy (who I also believe was Kwai Chang Caine’s half-brother) was gathering an army of reincarnated villains from Earth’s history. There was this one dude who was… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #35: Mortal Kombat
The Curator of Schlock #35 by Jeffrey Shuster Mortal Kombat = Mortal Komplicated! Okay. Time to roll out the big guns (err, fists) with 1995’s Mortal Kombat from director Paul W. S. Anderson. Oh man. Where do I even begin? Mortal Kombat was the game back the mid 90s. I remember getting my copy of Mortal… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #34: Double Dragon
The Curator of Schlock #34 by Jeffrey Shuster Double Dragon: Two for One! I’ve been getting some complaints that I don’t do enough kung fu movies. Well, I’m afraid my kung fu knowledge ends with Kung Fu: The Legend Continues, the greatest television show of all time. There was this one episode where this evil stage… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #33: Battle Beyond the Stars
The Curator of Schlock #33 by Jeffrey Shuster Battle Beyond the Stars: Better Never than Late John Saxon returns to the Museum of Schlock in Battle Beyond the Stars, the story of how the evil Sador of the Malmori (John Saxon) and his army of deformed mutant freaks tried to conquer Akir, a pathetic farming planet.… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #32: Warwick Davis is The Leprechaun
The Curator of Schlock #32 by Jeffrey Shuster Warwick Davis is The Leprechaun Here’s your stupid Leprechaun review! I know St. Patty’s day was on Monday, so this review is late. I don’t care. Do you know why? Leprechaun ain’t that good. The movie starts out with an Irishman by the name of Daniel O’Grady… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #31: Movie Poster Mahem!
The Curator of Schlock #31 by Jeffrey Shuster Movie Poster Mahem! They don’t draw them like used to. It’s late. I’m tired. I don’t feel like writing a movie review. So those of you who were expecting a Leprechaun review in time for St. Patty’s Day, you can forget it! I’m in a grumpy mood… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #30: Slumming Through Oscar Nominees
The Curator of Schlock #30 by Jeffrey Shuster Slumming Through Oscar Nominees A funny thing happened in the middle of my typing up my review for Battle Beyond the Stars last week. My MacBook Pro Air laptop thingamagig died on me. So Space Opera month got officially ruined and my MacBook is still in limbo… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #29: Star Trek: The Motion Picture
The Curator of Schlock #29 by Jeffrey Shuster Star Trek: The Motion Picture (Back when motion pictures had motion pictures in the title!) This is a bad film. I know Star Trek: The Motion Picture has its defenders and to them I would ask, “What is wrong with you?” Yes, the model work is impressive… Continue reading
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