The Revenging Manta and I were stumbling around in the dark of the Spookies exhibit in the Museum of Schlock. Funny enough. This exhibit was left mostly intact. Someone had removed the yellow dress shirt that adorned the were-cat mannequin. I could have sworn I saw the robot sheriff Elle out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned around nothing was there. We continued on to The Fifth Cord exhibit. — To be continued

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Tonight’s movie is 1987’s The Lost Boys from director Joel Schumacher and is there a more perfect movie than this? The Lost Boys is the king of all 80s vampire pictures and cemented the phenomenon of the Two Coreys into the American consciousness. Maybe the 70s weren’t too kind to the toothy undead, but hair metal and neon fit the Hominus Nocturna like a glove. I still have to watch that Vampire’s Kiss movie with Nic Cage. That one is on my bucket list.

Our movie takes place on the boardwalk in a California town named Santa Carla. The town is known as the murder capital of the world. This might have something to do with a gang of punk rocker vampires led by David Powers (Kiefer Sutherland). They make a late night snack of a nighttime security guard at the start of the picture. Next we’re introduced to brothers Sam (Corey Haim) and Michael (Jason Patric) along with their mother, Lucy (Dianne Wiest). She’s recently divorced and is moving her and boys back in with her eccentric father, a man that loves his taxidermy.

Sam and Michael venture out to the boardwalk and the whole scene is super cool. You’ve got a saxophone band and video rental stores and a comic shop. Michael has his eye on this beautiful yet mysterious girl named Star (Jami Gertz) who seems to be under the control of David. Meanwhile, Sam is perusing a selection of Superman comics while getting approached by two boys in military fatigues, Edgar and Alan Frog. They give Sam a vampire comic and tell him reading it might just save his life.

Michael eventually gets invited by David and his gang to go riding one night. While partying in the ruins of a hotel, David tricks Michael into drinking from a wine bottle. The next morning, Sam notices Michael is behaving strangely. Michael has a bad attitude and doesn’t seem too fond of sunlight. Sam expresses his concerns to the Frog brothers who advise Sam to kill his brother. Not wanting to go to that extreme just yet, Sam and the Frog brother start hunting for the head vampire. If they slay the head vampire, Michael’s curse will be broken and he’ll return to normal.

Sam suspects the guy his mom is dating is the head vampire. The great Edward Hermann stars as Max Lawrence, the video store owner his mom is infatuated with. At dinner, Sam offers Max some grated Parmesan which turns out to be grated garlic. He and the Frog brothers do other tests, but there’s nothing to indicate Max is a vampire. Time is running out for Michael and if he makes his first kill, he’ll be a vampire forever. 

It’s funny. Siskel and Ebert gave this one the thumbs down, saying too much was packed into this movie. I don’t know. I found The Lost Boys then as I do now to be a lot of fun that doesn’t waste my time. If you haven’t seen it, I envy you getting to watch it for the first time.

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Jeff Shuster (episode 47, episode 102, episode 124, episode 131, episode 284, episode 441, episode 442, episode 443, episode 444, episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, episode 496, episode 545, episode 546, episode 547, episode 548, and episode 549) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.