The Curator of Schlock
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The Curator of Schlock #404: Morbius
The Curator of Schlock #404 by Jeff Shuster Morbius It’s Morbin’ Time There I was in the secret hideout of the Revenging Manta, the ninja vigilante of downtown Orlando. By secret hideout, I mean his one bedroom apartment. I went to take a shower, lathering up with Dove sensitive skin soap and massaging my follicles… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #403: Bloody New Year
The Curator of Schlock #403 by Jeff Shuster Bloody New Year Not so happy. After wading through ten miles of disgusting sewer water, the Revenging Manta and I opened a manhole to the surface. I was anxious to see the secret hideout of the ninja vigilante of downtown Orlando. I was in dire need of… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #402: Don’t Open Till Christmas
The Curator of Schlock #402 by Jeff Shuster Don’t Open Till [sic] Christmas Don’t Open Until Christmas There I was, wading through crapwaters of the Orlando sewer system. The sewer water went up to my knees and then to my waist and then to my chest. I was on my way to the secret hideout of… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #401: Christmas Evil
The Curator of Schlock #401 by Jeff Shuster Christmas Evil Do you want to feel more depressed during the holidays? The Revenging Manta, the ninja vigilante of downtown Orlando, and I drove to his secret hideout. And his secret hideout was in the sewer. This is not the first place I would pick for a… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #400: To All a Goodnight
The Curator of Schlock #400 by Jeff Shuster To All a Goodnight David Hess returns to the Museum of Schlock. The Revenging Manta (the ninja vigilante of downtown Orlando) was fishing around the corpse of Gary, the recently deceased corpse of a a fentanyl dealer disguised as a pizza delivery man. Manta found keys and… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #399: The Warriors
The Curator of Schlock #399 by Jeff Shuster The Warriors Skip the director’s cut. There I was, stuck in a bowling alley in the dead of night next to a decapitated fentanyl dealer. Actually, the guy wasn’t decapitated. His head had exploded after the Revenging Manta, a ninja vigilante from the downtown Orlando area, threw… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #398: Memory
The Curator of Schlock #398 by Jeff Shuster Memory That’s your movie title? You’re not even trying! Where was I? Oh, I was undercover at a bowling alley, trying to buy some fentanyl from a drug-pusher named Gary. “Where’s the money? I don’t have all day.” Gary said as he lifted up a turquoise bowling ball.… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #397: Eight Legged Freaks
The Curator of Schlock #397 by Jeff Shuster Eight Legged Freaks Giant spider movie. “You want the pills, I need the dough,” the drug-pusher-disguised-as-a-pizza-delivery-guy said. I saw the name Gary engraved on his jacket. “Okay, Gary. Just give me a few minutes,” I said, trying to stall for time until the crazed vigilante ninja, The… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #396: Moonfall
The Curator of Schlock #396 by Jeff Shuster Moonfall This movie is a disaster. I mean this is a disaster movie. I was waiting at a bowling alley after dark. I was disguised as the owner, waiting for a fentanyl delivery. I heard a knock at the back and opened it to see a pizza… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #395: Virtuosity
The Curator of Schlock #395 by Jeff Shuster Virtuosity Never mind American Gangster–this is the Denzel Washington versus Russel Crowe movie you’ve been waiting for. The Revenging Manta and I had a plan to disrupt a fentanyl delivery at a bowling alley called Tech 13 Lanes in downtown Orlando. I was to pose as the… Continue reading
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