The Curator of Schlock
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The Curator of Schlock #347: The Shadow
The Curator of Schlock #347 by Jeff Shuster The Shadow Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of Hollywood producers? I’m going to take a break from the Arrow Home Video releases this week as Big Tom subjected me to a rewatch of his favorite movie, 1994’s The Shadow from director Russell Mulcahy. Tom had an Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #346: Dillinger
The Curator of Schlock #346 by Jeff Shuster Dillinger A whole lot of shooting going on. I’ll be spending the weekend with Tiny Todd and Mrs. Tiny Todd, She told me to mind the Mrs. We’re getting ready to load up the truck with all sorts of fancy canning equipment for some town in Saskatchewan. Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #345: Pulp
The Curator of Schlock #345 by Jeff Shuster Pulp Another Michael Caine turd—I mean gem! Edwige and I made it out that house of horror and into the cold, bitter wilderness. Some nights it went as low as 64 degrees. Cold and hungry with nowhere to turn, I stuck my thumb out, hoping for someone Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #344: Evil Ed
The Curator of Schlock #344 by Jeff Shuster Evil Ed This is a wet one, folks. As I stated last week, Edwidge, my pet kangaroo, was tossed into a hutch filled with fine China by Wally the vampire. With Edwidge down for the count, I knew I was done for. Then I remembered a strategically Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #343: The Mutilator
The Curator of Schlock #343 by Jeff Shuster The Mutilator Also known as Fall Break. Where did I leave off last week? Oh, yes. I was about to be eaten by Wally the vampire when in busts Edwidge the kangaroo, ready to pounce. Wally arches his back and hisses at her like a wild cat, Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #342: The Slayer
The Curator of Schlock #342 by Jeff Shuster The Slayer I don’t want to meet the slayer. I was about to be a late night snack for a group of hungry vampires led by their leader, a southern gentleman named Wally. I might have soiled myself and sobbed uncontrollably after he bared his fangs, but Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #341: Madhouse
The Curator of Schlock #341 by Jeff Shuster Madhouse It’s February. I’m watching slasher movies. I escaped a vampire house and lived to tell the tale. Here’s the story: I gave three copies of my spec screenplay called The Taming of the Screw, a kind of My Dinner With Andre, but with vampires. Wally, Celestial, and Jervis Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #340: Black Scorpion II
The Curator of Schlock #340 by Jeff Shuster Black Scorpion II: Aftershock Yes, Corman made a sequel. You know you’ve hit rock bottom when the best friend you’ve got is a kangaroo named Edwige, but my luck might be turning around. I discovered a magic spell in a grimoire hidden deep in the manor library, Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #339: Black Scorpion
The Curator of Schlock #339 by Jeff Shuster Black Scorpion Joan Severance is Black Scorpion. You had me at Joan Severance. I’m putting the finishing touches on my screenplay that’s basically My Dinner With Andre. I’ve titled it My Dinner With Vlad. I hope Wally—who is a vampire if I haven’t lost my mind—likes it and that Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #338: Space 1999 (Season One)
The Curator of Schlock #338 by Jeff Shuster Space 1999 (Season One) Lightning strikes twice for Gerry Anderson. The kangaroo and I are finally getting along. Turns out she loves Fruit Roll Ups. I’ve gone ahead and named her Edwige. Apparently, she must be a professional boxer because she’s wearing baby blue gym shorts and Continue reading
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