The Curator of Schlock
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The Curator of Schlock #379: Memories
The Curator of Schlock #379 by Jeff Shuster Memories Three movies in one. I was in tears when Larry, a secret agent of the Canadian government, informed me that Edwige, my kangaroo companion, would have to be transported to a kangaroo sanctuary somewhere in Gibraltar. I was allowed to ride in a truck with her… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #378: Mary and the Witch’s Flower
The Curator of Schlock #378 by Jeff Shuster Mary and the Witch’s Flower Kind of like a Ghibli movie. The nightmare was over. Operatives from the Canadian government had infiltrated a marsupial slaughterhouse in the Canadian province of Saskatchewan. Edwige, my kangaroo companion, and myself were saved. All of the surviving animals were to be… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #377: Short Peace
The Curator of Schlock #377 by Jeff Shuster Short Peace Don’t ask about the title. I had collapsed in shock after witnessing a security guard get mauled to death by Tasmanian devils while trapped in a cage with a female kangaroo named Edwige. The devils ignored us, choosing to go after the other factory workers… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #376: Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland
The Curator of Schlock #376 by Jeff Shuster Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland Is it anime? You ever watch a man get eaten alive by Tasmanian devils? I have. You ever watch a man get eaten alive by Tasmanian devils while trapped inside a cage with a kangaroo named Edwige? I have. You ever watch… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #375: Robot Carnival
The Curator of Schlock #375 by Jeff Shuster Robot Carnival Nine animators, One vision. An army of rabid Tasmanian devils rushed the security guard and myself. I did what any sane person would do and ran for my life. Edwige, my kangaroo companion and two other kangaroos were locked away in cages. I slid the… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #374: Leprechaun 4: In Space
Leprechaun 4: In Space That is not how you title a movie! Bad things were going down in a marsupial slaughtering factory in the Canadian Province of Saskatchewan. A bloodied factory worker had screamed about “devils on the loose” before breathing his last. Then came the howls from a shifting black mass of doom creeping… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #373: The Secret of Nimh
The Curator of Schlock #373 by Jeff Shuster The Secret of NIMH I like cartoons. Stop giving me grief. We heard the screeching, a sound of hellish death coming from beyond. The factory security guard brandished a taser and I wondered why we hadn’t run away with the rest of the factory personnel that had… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #392: Malignant
The Curator of Schlock #392 by Jeff Shuster Malignant 8th Wonder of the World There was Edwige, my kangaroo traveling companion of the past year, locked up in a cage, waiting to be butchered by a bunch of zany Saskatchewanians. I wanted to free her, but I had to keep up the ruse of being… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #390: Slumber Party Massacre II
The Curator of Schlock #390 by Jeff Shuster Slumber Party Massacre II It’s a bit better. There I was, blowtorch in hand and standing behind the gate to a Canadian salmon canning factory that was really a front for a marsupial slaughterhouse. A burly guard stood on the other side and I figured my number… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #389: Slumber Party Massacre
The Curator of Schlock #389 by Jeff Shuster Slumber Party Massacre Was Herschel Gordon Lewis involved in this? I was under orders from the Canadian government to infiltrate an illegal marsupial slaughtering operation. I encountered an obstacle in the form of a chain link fence with a locked gate. I took out my blowtorch and… Continue reading
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