The Curator of Schlock #390: Slumber Party Massacre II

The Curator of Schlock #390 by Jeff Shuster

Slumber Party Massacre II

It’s a bit better. 

There I was, blowtorch in hand and standing behind the gate to a Canadian salmon canning factory that was really a front for a marsupial slaughterhouse. A burly guard stood on the other side and I figured my number was up.

“Are you the welder?” he asked. I nodded my head as he unlocked the gate and bade me inside. We made our way toward the factory and I braced myself for horrors.

— To be continued.

This week’s movie is 1987’s Slumber Party Massacre II from director Deborah Brock. I know I was a bit nonplussed regarding last week’s movie revolving around the escapades of the “driller killer,” an escaped maniac with a penchant for drilling his victims to death. After the events of the first movie, Valerie Bates ended up in a mental hospital after hacking the murderer up with a machete.

Courtney Bates (Crystal Bernard), Valerie’s sister, is trying to move on with her life. She’s a member of an all girl rock n’ roll band. Her mom wants her to visit her sister at the mental hospital, but Courtney complains that it’s her birthday this weekend and that she just wants to hang out with her friends. Her mom apologizes for forgetting her birthday and gives her leave to go. I guess this wouldn’t be a Slumber Party Massacre movie without a proper slumber party.

The girls partake in eating corn dogs, topless pillow fighting, and drinking plenty of hard liquor. Courtney should be enjoying herself, but she is plagued by dreams of a rock’n’roll star (Atanas Ilitch) that drills people to death with his guitar. In other words, a drill pokes out of his guitar so he’ll kill you right after he treats you to some rockabilly.

Courtney’s ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality begins to shatter throughout her stay. When she’s handed a hamburger with lots of ketchup, Courtney sees not a hamburger, but a bloody severed hand in a bun! Yikes! She’s handed a chicken sandwich and all is right again. Later that day, one of her friends who has been complaining about her acne has now turned into a giant pimple. The pimple ruptures and Courtney gets doused in green puss.

Throughout this, Courtney’s dreams about the rockabilly driller killer intensify. Her boyfriend, Matt (Patrick Lowe), brings her a birthday cake and it’s a beautiful romantic gesture until the rockabilly driller killer appears and sends his drill right through Matt’s chest. What follows is a free-for-all as this maniac kills off Courtney’s friends one by one. I have to admit. He does it with serious style. There’s a predictable twist ending, but it fits so let’s not nitpick.

While watching this movie, one thing made me uncomfortable. All the fashion and the hair styles are reflective of trends from the late 80s, early 90s. That’s my preteen years and they seem as dated now as flappers and Zoot suits. Yet, for some reason, I can’t resist the pressure to buy some day-glow fashion.

Photo by Leslie Salas.

Jeff Shuster (episode 47episode 102episode 124episode 131episode 284episode 441episode 442episode 443, episode 444episode 450, episode 477, episode 491, episode 492, episode 493, episode 495, and episode 496) is an MFA graduate from the University of Central Florida.

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