The Curator of Schlock
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The Curator of Schlock #45: Zombie
The Curator of Schlock #45 by Jeff Shuster Don’t go to Zombie Island! I guess it was only a matter of time before I got around to reviewing another zombie movie. What? Nightmare City wasn’t enough for you? Okay. How about a trip to an island of zombies from horror maestro Lucio Fulci? No? Tough. This isn’t… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #44: The Funhouse
The Curator of Schlock #44 by Jeff Shuster The Funhouse (or, Don’t Go to the Carnival, Kids) 1981’s The Funhouse from director Tobe Hooper (of Texas Chainsaw Massacre fame) has one of the most terrifying opening credit sequences I’ve ever seen in a movie. That’s because it’s clip after clip of audio-animatronic dolls! I don’t like puppets… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #43: Friday the 13th, Part VII: The New Blood
The Curator of Schlock #43 by Jeff Shuster Friday the 13th, Part VII: The New Blood–Don’t go to Crystal Lake! I know there are some of you out there who think there’s no rhyme or reason to what I decide to curate on any particular week. For instance, you might think that I realized at the last… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #42: The Burning
The Curator of Schlock #42 by Jeff Shuster The Burning, or Don’t Go to Summer Camp! You know, if we can have Christmas in July, we can have Halloween in June. Your Curator of Schlock is here to present you with some summer themed horror movies. First up is 1981’s The Burning from director Tony Maylam. Now, I… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #41: Double Impact
The Curator of Schlock #41 by Jeff Shuster Double Impact, or Black Silk Underwear for Men! I seem to recall when I was younger reading about an upcoming film adaptation of video game Double Dragon, which would star Jean-Claude Van Damme. Now I don’t know if there was a falling out with Van Damme and the people… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #40: Bloodsport
The Curator of Schlock #40 by Jeffrey Shuster Bloodsport (Van Damme Hits Below the Belt!) I have to warn you. 1988’s Bloodsport from director Newt Arnold is not for the faint of heart. This movie is based off real life events surrounding the Kumite, an underground martial arts tournament located in the dingy back alleys of Hong… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #39: Van Damme and Trejo, Together Again for the First Time
The Curator of Schlock #39 by Jeffrey Shuster Desert Heat: Van Damme and Trejo, Together Again for the First Time In Desert Heat from director John G. Avildsen, Jean-Claude Van Damme plays Eddie Lomax, a motorcycle enthusiast who has given up on life. He drives his Indian out to middle of the desert with a bottle… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #38: The Order
The Curator of Schlock #38 by Jeffrey Shuster The Order (or, Charlton Heston Gracefully Exits his Career) Guess what? It’s Van Damme month here at The Museum of Schlock. The scuttlebutt around the Internet is that Jean-Claude Van Damme’s career took a nosedive after the poor performance of Street Fighter at the box office back in… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #37: Street Fighter
The Curator of Schlock #37 by Jeffrey Shuster Street Fighter: Yes, It’s as Bad as You Remember Street Fighter. Oh boy. Part of the problem with this movie is that has too many characters. It’s like the director was trying to give each fighter from Street Fighter II equal screen time. As such, I can’ figure… Continue reading
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The Curator of Schlock #36: DOA
The Curator of Schlock #36 by Jeffrey Shuster DOA: Dead or Alive Ninja Ninja Ninja I remember an episode of Kung Fu The Legend Continues where the bad guy (who I also believe was Kwai Chang Caine’s half-brother) was gathering an army of reincarnated villains from Earth’s history. There was this one dude who was… Continue reading
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