Episode 396 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on iTunes, or right click here to download.
In this week’s episode, I talk with Vanessa Blakeslee about the new story anthology, A Very Scandinavian Christmas, from New Vessel Press.
A Very Scandinavian Christmas, now out with New Vessel Press.
In our discussion, we manage to talk about yuletide fellowship, hallucinogens, the possibility of St. Patrick’s Day cookies, and other perennial holiday topics.
TEXT DISCUSSED
This is not a paid advertisement. I just love New Vessel Press’s books.
NOTES
This episode is sponsored by the excellent people at Scribophile.
TDO Listeners can get 20% of a premium subscription to Scribophile. After using the above link to register for a basic account, go here while still logged in to upgrade the account with the discount.
Episode 291 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on iTunes, or right click here to download.
In this week’s episode, I talk with Vanessa Blakeslee about the new fiction anthology, A Very French Christmas, from New Vessel Press.
NOTES
Some context for the dubious Dutch tradition of Black Pete.
Be sure to check out the music of David Rego, whose song “Harp” appears on this episode.
Dave Rego
Episode 291 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing and literature is available on iTunes, or right click here to download.
Okay. I’ll admit I can be a bit of an ogre when it comes to my own personal taste. We all have our Christmas Carols. I grew up with Scrooge the Musical, the one with Albert Finney. Other people swear by the 1951 adaptation starring Alastair Sim. I had a delayed reaction after viewing The Muppet Christmas Carol last week. That delayed reaction was revulsion. I had known about The Muppet Christmas Carol for several years, but had avoided it like the plague. Several friends suggested I review it for the blog, and I decided to give it a go.
I knew in the first five minutes that I would have nothing insightful to say about this chestnut so I decided to record my real time reactions. A few days later the film had finally sunk in, and I let it known over social media how terrible I thought the movie was by stating, “The Muppet Christmas Carol was terrible!” You’d think I had kicked someone’s dog by friends’ reaction. Still, I regret my word choice. It’s Christmas Day, and in the spirit of the season, I will give The Muppet Christmas Carol a fair shake. Oh wait. It’s Boxing Day. I think I’ll tear The Muppet Christmas Carol apart. I’m like Pinhead in that respect.
I want to make it clear that I don’t hate Muppets or Muppet movies. The Muppet Movie is childhood favorite of mine. I’m sure The Muppet Christmas Carol is a childhood favorite of other people, and that just makes me depressed. This isn’t a proper adaptation of A Christmas Carol. You can’t just slap a bunch of Muppets on a piece of classic literature and declare “Voila!” This is like a bad community theatre production of A Christmas Carol starring Muppets. The Muppets slip in and out of character on a whim.
Gonzo states that he’s Charles Dickens only for Rizzo the Rat to blow his cover immediately. So for the rest of the movie I’m trying to figure out whether it’s Charles Dickens providing the narration or Gonzo. It’s never cleared up. Frankly, Gonzo interrupts the story too much.
My favorite Muppet, Animal, is on screen for all of five seconds. He probably read the script and negotiated his part down to a cameo.
Sam Eagle shows up as Scrooge’s headmaster ready to teach the young man the “American Way of Business” only to have Gonzo correct him into saying the British Way. Sam Eagle would never abandon an American tradition in favor of a British one.
Not even as a joke.
Have you seen Sam Eagle? He doesn’t exist in this world to make you laugh!
I think the only one who stays in character throughout the whole movie is Michael Caine’s Scrooge. Since the movie spends so much time on canned Muppet jokes, we get a kind of abridged version of A Christmas Carol. We see a young Scrooge making googly eyes at Belle at Fozziwig’s annual Christmas party only to them break up in the very next scene. There’s no courtship. We don’t get to see Scrooge, the hard man, falling in love only to see him eventually prioritizing money above all else. There’s no tragedy in this movie. All we get are Michael Caine’s crocodile tears to a creepy puppet of an English girl.
There are songs in this movie, but I’d be hard pressed to remember any of them. We see the Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come, but there’s no Grim Reaper reveal. Scrooge’s redemption comes from the doling out of plastic cheese to some Muppet mice. I’m not seeing a changed man here. If the movie can’t make believe that a miser can turn into a philanthropist, the battle is lost.
I know. I know. That’s just my opinion. Well, you know what? I’m a curator.
Here’s a clip of a missing song between Belle and Scrooge that didn’t make it into the final movie.
Perhaps this song could have made all the difference…Nah!
We’ve gone a whole year without a Michael Caine movie present in The Museum of Schlock. He plays Ebenezer Scrooge in 1992’s The Muppet Christmas Carol from director Brian Henson. So yeah, it’s Muppets and Michael Caine this week on The Curator of Schlock. Now, I had never seen this movie before so I decided to do something a bit different. Instead of a review, here are 22 live observations of The Muppet Christmas Carol as I watched it.
1. Gonzo and Rizzo the Rat are talking to me through my TV screen. Gonzo insists that he’s Charles Dickens.
2. Michael Caine is playing an extra evil Ebenezer Scrooge. Random Muppets and vegetables start singing about how mean he is.
3. Muppets fall behind on their mortgages just like the rest of us.
4. Kermit is Bob Cratchit. Big surprise there.
5. Same Christmas Carol crap! His nephew is too nice! Steven Seagal would have lit Michael Kane on fire by now!
7. There are way too many rats in this motion picture.
8. Are these Muppets playing human characters or is this an alternate Victorian London where humans and Muppets coexist peacefully?
9. Scrooge is eating moldy cheese. Ewwwwwwww!!!
10. Jacob and Robert Marley? There was no Robert Marley in the novel!
11. The Muppet of the Ghost of Christmas Past is creeping me out big time!
12. Young Scrooge says, “Who cares about stupid old Christmas?” I care!
13. The Muppet of the Ghost of Christmas Past is still creeping me out big time!
14. Animal!
15. If the Ghost of Christmas Present welcomes Scrooge to Christmas morning then he’s the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, not the Ghost of Christmas Present!
16. Michael Caine is dancing with a giant Muppet!
17. I used to have a crush on Miss Piggy. On second thought, don’t print that.
18. Tiny Tim needs to hurry up and die already!
19. No more singing! Please!
20. Ghost of Christmas Future is scary even in Muppet form!
Episode 29 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing, literature, and drinking, is available oniTunes, or right clickhereto download.
On this week’s show, I present The Drunken Odyssey Xmas Party, featuring fabulous readings of original work from
Ashley Inguanta
Jamie Poissant
Lisa Claire Roney
Steph Jurusz
Anna King
Olivia Kate Cerrone
and John King
Special Thanks to Pat Green and Ryan Rivas!
Episode 29 of The Drunken Odyssey, your favorite podcast about creative writing, literature, and drinking, is available oniTunes, or right clickhereto download.
